Today, or rather yesterday since it's almost 2 AM, we had a really good day at church. We had a special treat because my oldest sister was there. She went to Huntsville for the weekend to visit our mom and dad for her birthday. Oh! Which is now today since it's 2 AM! Happy Birthday Paula!!! I missed her boys who she is usually never without but it was really great to see her by herself. I don't think she has visited alone in a very long time, if ever. It was a different dynamic and a great blessing. I really appreciate getting to relate to my sisters in adulthood, rather than through childhood angst. People change as they get older and experience life. It's hard when you know you've changed but someone sees you as you were. I suppose that's just one of the conflicts with an age gap. The good thing about aging is that with time the gap feels smaller. When I'm 80 and my oldest sister is 89, who will know the difference? And for that matter, who will care? Other old ladies? But thankfully, for now, she's the only old lady between the two of us. haha! I'm completely kidding, just in case she reads this! :o)

Methods started this week and with it came a thunderous wave of stress. I said all last semester that it was my hardest and most stressful of my college career. I am thinking now I was probably wrong. My schedule is very full and I have to commute 4 days a week instead of just 2 which not only doubles my time in a car but also doubles our gasoline bill. And I found out I have to take the certification exams for History and English this semester instead of next semester like I originally thought. These exams cost $120 apiece so I really, really have to pass them the first time because I literally cannot afford to fail. In addition to all of this extra expense, I really do not have time to work. However, my sister Olivia suggested today that I may can tutor some students and that could really help us out. I will definitely be looking into that. Steven has been really adamant about me not working right now and continuously reminds me that making good grades is really important right now, but that's really hard for me. I have been working since I was 16 years old. Even though I made peanuts at the daycare, I was at least contributing something. But I know that God will see us through. We've been through really tough times - tougher times than these. And I still have a job at the daycare for the summer at least. Another really good thing is that since I'll be graduating in December, I should get more financial aid for the Fall because I'll only be going one semester of the academic year. And, being married and being poor has resulted in qualifying for grants instead of loans that I'll be paying back until my own unborn, non-conceived children start to college. Silver lining!

I suppose I should update about my Mema and Daddy. Mema was released from the hospital this week. She is really weak though. Every time she has to go into the hospital, she gets a little more feeble. She's tough but still 88 years old. But she is in good spirits. My dad is doing well but is also pretty weak. He was able to come to church today and preached for us. He's still on the drain which is really uncomfortable for him but mentally and spiritually, he seems better than he's been in years. I'm really, really proud of him for all of the hard work he's been doing. Old dogs can learn new tricks no matter how stubborn they may seem. It is never, ever too late for improvement of one's self.

All that being said for Mema and Daddy, I must ask for prayers and thoughts for my mom. If I had to describe my mom in three words (or phrases) I would have to say she is extremely hard working, dedicated, and very sensitive. That is to say, she feels things very deeply on a personal level. She has spent her whole life taking care of other people. I fear this has taken an irreversible toll on her physical, mental, and emotional state. Caring for people in general is difficult, but caring for a sick or disabled person is above and beyond trying. And for the past two years she has had double the trouble since my grandma had a stroke in 2007. People may laugh at my mom, who is really funny at times even though she doesn't mean to be, and they may think she's even a little nutty, which I think myself sometimes. But who wouldn't be with what she has been through. I admire my mother's strength, despite not always liking what she does or says. My heart hurts for her when I see how tired she is. I don't always think her hopes are rational but the shame is on me because at least she has hope. I just worry about her that she may not be able to handle all that she thinks she can. However, she has made some concessions and has hired a part-time maid/helper for my dad and Mema. It is a step.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering why I'm up at 2 AM, it's because my sleep is all off now. On school days my alarm is set for 5:30 but because I've been scared of being late (and subsequently causing irrevocable harm to my chances for being a teacher - I always think the worst), I've been waking up at 4 AM without fail. It finally all caught up with me and Saturday I had a two hour nap and tonight went to sleep about 7:30 on the couch. Then I woke up at 11 PM and haven't been able to go back to sleep. I fear that Tuesday I am going to be very tired. Perhaps I should try to go to sleep now. :o)