Sickness *cough*sneeze*cough*

The immune system of this pre-school teacher should be tough as nails since I've been now teaching off and on for 6 years. And to some degree this is true. When I first started, I was sick about every two weeks - no kidding. Just as I would get over some sniffle, I would contract something else. My co-teacher is going through that right now as she just started with us in June. Anyway, I am sick today and have been since last Thursday. I finally went to the doctor yesterday (Mon.) and he said stay home until Wed. So I missed work yesterday and am missing school today which I feel extremely guilty about. Does anyone else ever feel guilty when they can't attend something because they are sick? I always without fail feel guilt all day. And I mean, it's not like I'm not sick. I mean, the doctor even gave me a note. Not that I really need one. At this point in my school career the professors give us a certain amount of days we may miss, no questions asked. So I don't suppose I should feel guilty but I do.

Anyway, enough of my warped psychosis. I am actually glad to be home because I have to write a response paper for my online class that I just haven't found the time for. Life has been a bit overwhelming over the past few weeks. My family is dealing with a great deal lately.
My life growing up with my parents was incredibly tumultuous and my adult life has proved to be as well.

When looking at my family it would be easy to contribute our strife with my father's illness but troubles go much deeper than that. Of course, his illness in the past eight years has contributed a great deal, it still cannot be blamed for how my family has suffered. Most people will never fully understand what I mean, either because they can't or won't. And it really doesn't matter. What does matter is that I continue to grow with Steven and remain committed to my education so that we may have a better life. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But the time has come and past when I must live my life and do what is best for MY family, meaning Steven and me.

I'm sure this is crazy ramblings for most people who read what I write. For that I am sorry. But I've been sad and preoccupied over the past few weeks and that is not satisfactory for what I am trying to accomplish in school. And most likely a contributing factor in this cold I have. I know that God will see us through and will be a comfort and guide, for He only knows how much that I need one. Life is not black and white or else it would be much easier.

side note: I just read back through what I wrote and saw that a few paragraphs up I said "enough of my warped psychosis." I guess not. :)