It seems that lately my posts all should begin with, "it's been a long time." Life has continued at its chaotic pace and I have not had the time or energy to write. But today is Saturday, and though I have a thousand and one things to do, I had the urge to write so I made the opportunity.

Work has continued to be very stressful but the reasons have changed. I have gotten used to the type of students I have and they got used to me. I still had problems on a daily basis and that is because they have problems on a daily basis. I continue to love and feel called to teach this type of student. Their lives are in such turmoil, much like mine always was. They are economically challenged, like I have been at points in my life. My parents were never really rich, but through most of my life were making a comfortable amount of money. When I was a child, that wasn't the case but we always had what we needed because my mom was extremely thrifty, great with a budget, and responsible. Both of my parents worked really hard. Then there was a time where they both had great paying jobs and we lived comfortably. But when I was a teenager, my dad became disabled and my mom was supporting us. A lot of my students have situations where one parent/guardian is taking care of them and their siblings. Often they have one person taking care of multiple families. By the time they get in high school, they are also working to provide for their families. In some cases, I have found that there are no parents or guardians and the high school student is the caregiver. They have rough lives and school is often the last thing they can deal with. The problem lately has not been the students but the disorganization within our school. We have had so many new teachers (myself included) this year, as well as new principals, that we have not been able to be a cohesive group. The saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child." Well, I'm here to say, it takes an entire school to teach a child. If all of the aspects of the school are not aligned, the school does not run smoothly.

The best part is that our school knows of the fragmentation and we are going to be working on being a cohesive group for next year. It would be so much worse if the school was not aware of its own problems.

Outside of work, life has continued at its crazy pace. My parents took a vacation for the first time in 10 years and my dad had to be hospitalized. He is ok now but had another round with MRSA staph, which was in his leg this time. They got home safely and both parents are recovering from their vacation. :o)

One of the happiest things that happened to me recently was that I became a mother! I am the proud mommy of a pekingese puppy! His name is Earnest Hemingway and we call him Earnie. Now before you spelling police get me, I know that Ernest Hemingway did not have an "a" in his first name. We got Earnie in Hearne and wanted to pay homage to his origins. I found him at a shelter while doing a professional development. Our teacher coach sent us around town because one of the disconnects the teachers have with students is that most of the teachers live outside of Hearne. So she wanted us to discover the town to relate to the kids. And while on our hunt, I found a treasure! The teacher coach was very sneaky and sent animal lovers to the shelter. He was so sweet! He came right up to me and licked my foot. Steven and I have wanted a dog since we got married but were waiting for the time to be right. I would never make a decision so big without Steven so of course, I had to go home and see what he thought. I could not stop thinking about this dog! So Steven went the next day to check him out for himself and we came home with a sweet, very mischievous, and very cuddly puppy. He's about 9 months old they think and other than that, we don't know much about his life. He was a stray but was only at the shelter a week. It was a no kill shelter but the conditions weren't great. He ended up needing to be dewormed and had ear infections (despite the shelter saying he had been dewormed and was seen by a vet) but he's doing much better know. I look forward to seeing him every day. He has definitely made our lives brighter and keeps us on our toes. No matter how sure we are that everything is off of the floor, he still finds what we have missed!

Here are a few pictures from our visit to my sister's house. We are going to be trying to get a camera of our own soon but she was nice to let us use her's so we could get some pictures of our boy and not have to wait. He's so cute when he smiles!!

So much to do, so little time...

Since beginning my job two months ago, life has been extremely chaotic. Of course, looking back over my life, chaos seems to be one of the only consistencies. None the less, the last two months have been exceptionally stressful.

Firstly, starting in the middle of the year is difficult for any teacher. The students are used to a different person, have already acclimated to each other, and have had different rules enforced. On the first day of the school year, everyone is fresh and it is a new beginning for everyone. In my current situation, I am the variable. Ideally when you have a mid-year change of teacher, the transition should take place at the semester change. I was hired mid semester. And the former teacher did not enforce rules, teach the material, or build relationships with her students. So her failures as a teacher has created an extremely difficult situation for me.

The good news is, I'm making it. And I already have some great relationships with my students. But the difficulty of retraining, building positivity between my students and me, and restructuring has been overwhelming at times. And all of that doesn't include normal teaching difficulties of a new teacher - i.e. having to create all lessons from scratch, creating new materials, teaching lessons for the first time, discovering who I am as a teacher, etc. Then adding in the normal difficulties of any teacher - i.e. students who are never prepared for anything, planning to teach multiple types of classes, teaching multiple types of students, students with disabilities, students who are so extremely rude it's a wonder they have made it this far in life, students with varying types of family life, students who have no family life, students who absolutely cannot focus on school because home life is too overwhelming, students who never turn in work and then complain that they have a "22" on their report card, students who just don't get it, parents who just don't get it, explaining what a "cultural contact zone" is about a thousand times and students still getting it wrong on the test, and so on, and so on, and so on....

At times I feel like a Stretch Armstrong because I am pulled by so many things. And yet, I was still so excited to get my renewal contract for next year. I love teaching. Our teacher coach who has helped me so much tells me several times a week, "It will never be this hard again." Hallelujah! And I believe her.

I am so grateful to have my job. I love it more than I could have ever expected. But I would caution any future teacher to think very long, and very hard about accepting a mid-year position. Have a good support system of friends and family, be ready to pray harder than you have ever prayed, and be ready to work.

The new job has made life chaotic, but life itself has crept into the realm of crazy. Two weeks into the new job, my Mema died (see previous posts), which has effected me in ways I never expected. I never knew before, but I think of her several times a day. I miss her so much. I am so thankful for the time I got to know her as an adult. I cannot stress enough how much my view of her changed in my adult years and I feel this can only be a blessing from God.

During the weekend of my Mema's funeral, my Granny (dad's mom) showed up at my parents house and was distressed about my Granddaddy. He had been ill for quite some time and she was very worried about him. It turns out, he had a massive tumor on his colon, and had to have it surgically removed. The doctors have said that it was cancerous and that he may have cancer on his liver, lungs, and/or lymph nodes. Currently, he is in a rehabilitation facility to gain the strength to begin treatments. I have always been close to my grandparents and in light of having lost one grandparent, another being this sick is quite scary. But the story continues....

While my granddaddy was in the hospital recovering from his surgery, my father was put in the hospital as well due to a UTI. My dad is disabled, has suffered with MRSA staph infection in the past and any kind of infection he has now is serious. My dad is now out of the hospital but he continues to struggle with these infections and is very weak, weaker than normal, and is doing out patient rehabilitation. And we continue.....

There are many things in my life that are not known by everyone. Ok, that statement is confusing because all people have aspects of their life that are private. Or they should at least, in my opinion. But honestly, I am not at a point where I desire to keep my experiences private and plan to write about my experiences in a book in the very near future. But how all of this is effecting my right now is that I am having to deal with the legal system, am most likely going to have to testify in court, am having so many conflicting feelings, feeling strain on relationships that have already been tested, said strain has translated to my church life, I've been called at work to deal with these issues unexpectedly, and I feel as if I may be hit by other unexpected events at any moment that will bring this house of cards falling down around me.

Therefore, I say, life has been chaotic. But still I can say, life is good. A few Sundays ago was Holocaust Remembrance Day. I say that because whenever my life gets difficult and I feel as if the world is against me, I think of Anne Frank. Despite being in constant fear of capture, hungry, weary, hated, and alone, she could say, "Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." If a Jewish girl in Nazi territory could say that in the 1940's, I think there is still hope for me. Besides, God will not leave us comfortless. He is merciful.

And there is always chocolate.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!


The Lord is ris’n indeed! Hallelujah!
Now is Christ risen from the dead,
And become the first-fruits of them that slept.
Hallelujah, and did He rise? did He rise?
Hear it ye nations! hear it,
Oh ye dead!
He rose, He burst the bars of death
And triumphed o’er the grave.
Then I rose, then first humanity
Triumphant passed the crystal ports of light
And seized eternal youth.
Man, all immortal hail,
Hail heaven, all lavish of strange gifts to man,
Thine’s all the glory,
Man’s the boundless bliss.

My Mema

My dear grandmother. It feel so strange that she is gone. She is beautiful. We found so many pictures of her young years that gave us insight to how vibrant and happy she was. I would like to post those in the near future.

This picture is the most recent picture of her still looking like herself. This was a few months before her stroke, at my wedding in 2006.

Our Pillar of Strength

My dear, sweet Mema went to be with our Lord last Tuesday. She suffered very minimally in the last days. She went to sleep on the Friday before and, as one of my students said, "slept her life away." She would wake only slightly when she was talked to but would quickly slip back into deep sleep. Steven and I went to be with my mom over the weekend before she passed, and on Sunday when we had to leave, I lingered because I knew this would be the last time I would see her alive. Saying goodbye was and has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I never thought it would be so hard. She has become such an integral part of our lives that her absence is felt everywhere. I mourn for her but know where she is. I have even thought of what she is seeing, doing, and how she feels. Although I have always believed in Heaven and God, I have never felt them so closely as I do right now with my connection through Mema. I have never felt as much as I do now that Mema is living through all of us. And it is because of her, I live.

Her funeral was beautiful. My sisters and I sang, Olivia and I gave little speeches, and the ministers who spoke knew her so well, it was a real comfort. Everyone mentioned what a grand lady she was - that everywhere she went, she was dressed "to the nines." The process was very difficult and exhausting but honoring Mema was so important. She was and is so important. Mema was actually my great grandmother. She lost her only natural born daughter, my grandmother, and adopted my mom and her sisters when they were young girls. My mother was in a girl's home, her sisters in foster care, and they would have been adopted to different families, because in those days, they did not try to keep siblings together. But Mema mustered the strength, as she always seemed to do, and adopted them.

I am posting the speech, I guess some call it a eulogy, that I wrote to read at the funeral. It tells how I feel better than I could repeat everything. Life is going to be very different now. I never knew her absence would be felt so profoundly. But her absence is also a presence - because every time something reminds me of her, she's here. God's blessing to us who are left behind.

"When I was in 7th grade, I was given an assignment to write a meaningful poem. I wrote about Mema, her life, and how much she had lived. Writing about Mema would have not occurred to me but a summer storm changed me in a way that can only be credited to the handiwork of God.
The previous summer, my mother had packed me off to Mema's, and most likely, she sent me off complaining. Going to Mema's at that age seemed like a chore. I couldn't sleep late, I had to dress nicely everywhere we went, and all there was to watch on TV was news and Young and the Restless - both very uninteresting to this young girl. The highlight of a day at Mema's was walking along the stepping stones and drinking fresh sun tea. I did not know at the time how instrumental my visit would be in changing my view of the strongest woman I'll ever know, and even greater, how profoundly what I would learn about her would change our relationship and my life.
One night of my visit, a violent Texas thunderstorm attacked the area spawning tornadoes. Mema's mobile home (she hated when we called it a trailer - she was a fancy lady) in Goodrich, with its thin metal walls was the last place I wanted to be. Although she did not admit it, Mema was scared too because she sat up with me through the night to wait out the storm. That night, I learned how much this sometimes mean, very set in her ways, but always strong and loving woman had lived.
She told me of her childhood, her years with her daughter, and the difficult years that she rarely spoke about. I was fascinated. Through my very poorly written poetry in the 7th grade, I tried to capture the essence of this woman and chronicle her life that I had learned so much about that summer night.
Being a historian, I am fascinated by the fact that her life is a perfect reflection of the 20th century. She was so proud of being born in the year that women gained the right to vote. She never failed to exercise this right and encouraged us to do so as well. The night we sat up, she told me about growing up in the Great Depression. She said they didn't know when the depression hit because they were already so poor. She said she would dream of a candy bar, wake up and realize it was a dream and then try to go back to sleep so she could dream of the chocolaty goodness again. She said it never worked but she would try anyway. She told me of going to work chopping cotton and the back breaking labor it entailed. She told me of how she moved out of the country and into the city, and her years as a real Rosie the Riveter during World War II. She also told me of times with her daughter Paula, about dressing up just to go to the movies or out to eat. She told me of raising my mom, her going off to college, and then getting married. She told me of Grandaddy, her mother, and all of those I would never get to know. I was captivated.
I wrote in my poem that Mema had lived. I wrote Mema has lived poverty, that she had lived work, she lived happiness, death, strength and love. She lived life. I ended my poem, probably in a feeble attempt to be artistic by saying that Mema had lived and I had not. But the truth is, I have lived too. Because this precious, strong, valiant warrior lived, so have I. Mema continues to live in all who have been graced to know her. My appreciation for her strength grows exponentially as I age.
So in closing, my dear sweet, strong Sparrow, you will always live. Rest in the arms of our Savior where your strength is no longer needed. Thank you God for giving us this precious gift."

Busy, Busy

Things became very busy for me after my last post. In my last post, I challenged myself to basically, "let go, and let God." I really hate that turn of phrase because I hear it most often used by televangelists that I dislike. But, it is a useful phrase, especially when trying to remind oneself to live by faith and know that God's love and grace are sufficient. So I remained calm about my job situation, began living each day knowing that tomorrow was an unknown. This was not easy but it is miraculous at how little time I actually had to live in the unknown - that is, the unknown about a job. Within a week of posting about how I wanted to stop worrying about everything, I got a job interview with Hearne ISD and two weeks later, I started teaching Social Studies for 9th and 12th grades! God never ceases to amaze me!

Everything about the process showed the handiwork of God. I was substituting at the high school here in town and talking with other certified substitutes like myself and I became nervous. Some of them had been subbing for 3 years and not found a permanent position! There was no way we could live on substitute salary for three years! But I tried to stay calm, remembered that "what will be, will be," and began discussing with Steven the possibility of moving to the Houston area were jobs were more available. On the particular day that I found out about Hearne, I had discussed, yet again, with another sub about how she hadn't found a job in 2 years. So on my lunch I decided to take a look at job availability in Houston's ESC region. I included my region in the search "just because." I immediately saw - "Hearne High School History teacher." Hearne is only 15 minutes away! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has said do not email or call principals because that's a good way to tick them off and not get an interview. Instead, you are supposed to go through human resources. But the name and contact information listed was the principal. I said a quick prayer, and emailed the principal. I didn't really have anything to ask because the ad was pretty self explanatory, so I just said a little about myself and said I was interested. I received a reply within 10 minutes! The principal wanted me to fax my application and paperwork directly to him. A few days later I was sitting in the best interview I have ever had. And then.....I had to wait. It was just nearly unbearable. By this time I wanted the job so badly. But - I continued to remind myself - whatever happens, God has something for me. God will not leave me comfortless. And He didn't! Just when I was about to give up and thought I hadn't gotten the job, the principal called and offered me the position!!!!

Since the end of February, I have been teaching 5 sections of World Geography, and 1 Honors Geography to 9th graders and 1 section of Honors Economics to 12th graders. It is a really rough school and challenging every single day. But I have already connected with my students in so many ways. They don't like that they have to work hard in my class and I have already had to give detentions for misconduct, but mostly these students need someone who cares about them and their success. I have felt like I have been swimming against a current most days. Not only am I starting mid-year, I am starting mid-semester. The previous teacher left because she could not handle the atmosphere. She actually told the students she didn't like them. She gave up around Christmas and they had not learned anything since. And what they were taught before that is sketchy. I actually had a student say in detention that he had been so disrespectful because he was trying to see when I would give up. My heart hurts for these kids because they are and can be good people. They just need a chance. They feel as if everyone has given up on them, that they are prejudged, disliked, and disrespected. And the truth is, it's true. Some of them have done bad things but do they deserve to redeem themselves in our society? Of course. Are my sins less because of who I am and where I grew up? Not in the eyes of God. I think of my parents every day and where they worked for so long. My parents taught the worst of society in the prison system. And sadly, some of my students have aspirations of being in prison and some will end up there. But my parents taught offenders to give them another chance. What an inspiration.

As hard as it has been so far, I thank God for what He has given me. Like I said, every step of the process has shown the hand of God. They interviewed 12 candidates and told my students that after I was interviewed, there was no choice, that I was "above and beyond." That made me feel so great!!! God put me in a school where my specific talents will be utilized every single day. He placed me in a comfortable, compassionate, and caring staff that I can and have already leaned on for support. I am getting to teach Social Studies, something everyone told me would be difficult if I weren't a coach. And next year, I get to teach real history, either World or US! And we don't have to move away from our town and Steven gets to start school in August! God is amazing. And no one can tell me otherwise!

Sha-na-na Live for Today...

My dear sweet cousin over at "Our Journey to Hannah Claire" and "The Griffin Family Herald" reminded me of a principle that I constantly strive to live by but lose sight of at various times. You would think with a blog called "No Day but Today" it wouldn't be so hard but alas, I am imperfect. That's right, I said it. And it is true, I am fallible. Thus I need constant reminding to live in the day that I have been blessed with.

My cousin, (if she doesn't mind being identified as such....too late, sorry!), mentioned that in her adult life she has always been striving for what the next big thing is. For example, when she and her husband got engaged, she anticipated her wedding, then buying a house, after that, graduating, and so on and so forth, without taking the time to enjoy what she had worked for. This spoke to me so clearly because I am exactly the same way. I always feel stressed to strive for what is next. I feel the constant need to be concerned about what the next big step is and I am consumed by anxiety about preparing for what is next. So what about what is now? I just graduated from college, (the luster of saying that has still not worn off so get used to me proclaiming it for a bit longer), and before I graduated I was was already worried about the next thing - getting a job, perhaps grad school, Steven starting school, where will we make our home, are children down the line somewhere, if so, when?! But WHY? I just finished something that took me years to complete, consumed my entire life, and I am not even stopping to enjoy what I have done? Is this the curse of man? I'm beginning to believe that I may be cursed.

So here is what I propose for myself thanks to my cousin's wonderful insight -- I will enjoy what I have accomplished and have faith that God will take care of me as He always has. If I worry, does that make God work faster? Uh, absolutely not. If I don't worry, with everything fall apart? Probably not, even though it pains me to type the words. What will be, will be! Were we not told to "think not of the morrow?" I have often been told to not borrow troubles by my wise old dad. It is a life long struggle for me not to rush on to the next thing or worry about what is next. But where will that kind of life leave me in the end? In the same place I would be if I worried less and trusted more in the Lord. Because we all know there are two "definites" in life -- death and chocolate, because I can't live without dying and I will die without chocolate. :o)

The end of the year; the closing of a decade...

So much has happened since I posted last, I really am struggling with where to begin. The past month has been very eventful. I suppose I should start with what I have been blogging about the most in the past year, so I will begin with school.

School has ended. Haha, yeah right, you weren't getting off that easy.

After passing the PPR portion of my certification, I took the content area exam. It was the single hardest exam I have ever laid my eyes on. After the first ten questions I felt like that if someone had drawn a cartoon of me at that moment, they would have drawn a chimpanzee banging on a keyboard in a cubicle. I studied a great deal, not to mention the several years of history courses in college, but this exam covered history from the beginning to now. As in "life began between the Tigris and the Euphrates" to "the war on terrorism and GW Bush." I left the testing center honestly feeling that I had completely failed and would have to take the exam again. But, that wasn't the case! I passed and did fairly well. I was beyond pleased! So now I am fully certified! I am only awaiting the confirmation of the university so that I can receive my actual paper certification. Which, by the way, costs just as much as one of the exams. But that's a rant for another day.

School has dominated my life for quite sometime now, and by extension this blog, but now I am finished! I graduated December 19 at 10:00 AM. The ceremony was long and boring, the speaker really had no point in his speech but even if he had, the graduates would have not heard it. The speaker system was aimed at the audience, not the graduates so we just heard muffled "wah-wahs" a la Charlie Brown. Walking across the stage was the absolute best part of the whole day. I got so see my parents right before I went up on the stage because the handicapped seating was located by the ramp. My mom was only slightly embarrassing - and really more cute than anything - because she literally got up to jump up and down. And when I walked, the vice-president of the university got out of his seat and ran to the other side of the stage so he could shake my hand. He is the father of friends I knew when I was a kid. I was surprised that he remembered me. It was quite an honor. The only thing that went wrong at the ceremony was that they spelled my middle name wrong in the program. Believe me, I was not happy. When I was handed my card during lineup, my face got very hot. Setting aside the thousands and thousands of dollars which have been paid to the school, the hours of torment studying for exam, the countless phone calls to the registrars, advisers, financial aid, etc. which have only ended in being passed down the line and becoming confused and frustrated beyond belief, after years of stress over idiot parking lots or lack thereof, AND probably the most infuriating aspect - being so careful to "type my name just as I want it to appear" (see earlier posts), they SPELL MY NAME WRONG! And they just happened to misspell the portion of my name which I felt was the most important. I had substituted my maiden name for my middle name because I wanted to honor my parents and my unmarried years of school. GRR!!! The registrar fixed it on my diploma but it was of course too late for the program. Boo... The registrar did admit it was human error on their part and took the blame. That was a first - the university taking responsibility instead of blaming it on the "dumb college students." Isn't that how it always goes? I try to do something special and to no avail. Oh well. My parents got the idea of what I was trying to convey and my diploma will be correct. But it was a definite Charlie Brown moment when I saw my name card. And I'm graduated which was the desired result. :o) I am now a college graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in History and a minor in Secondary Education certified to teach grades 8-12. And now for grad school.... haha, just kidding....for now.

Because of graduation, Christmas was a rushed affair. Steven and I never even got to put up a tree. If you know me personally, you know that Christmas is my favorite holiday. When I was growing up, my sister and I would start listening to holiday music in the summer. I just love everything about the holidays. So not decorating or doing the usual holiday preparations really made this year seem odd. It was rushed and over before I even got into the mindset of Christmas. Actually, the odd feeling is kind of fitting for 2009. It was a funky year for me. I honestly will not remember this year fondly except having graduated this year. It was rough in every aspect of my life. I am looking forward to beginning a new year, a new decade, a fresh start on a new portion of my life. I am not naive in thinking that the troubles from 2009 will not follow me into the new year, but perhaps I am better equipped than before. And though events cannot be foreseen, I was caught of guard by several major events this past year that perhaps I am more prepared for now. Regardless, I know that God has brought us through and will continue to guide and protect us in the future. This alone is sufficient comfort as long as I can keep that in thought.

Here's hoping for a happy new year and a great new decade for everyone!

I passed!

I passed the PPR! 279/300!!! If I did my math correctly, which it really wouldn't be a surprise if I didn't seeing as I am terrible at mathematics, that translates to 93%. So I did pretty well! Passing is great so regardless of my score, as long as it was above 80%, the required passing rate, I'm great!

Oh, PPR stands for Professional and Pedagogical Responsibilities. It's a tricky test because they have a "real world" answer and an "ideal world" answer on each question and you have to choose the latter because it's about what they want you to do. I'm not sure who "they" are but it's them, I know. :o)

Yay! Now I'm off to go spend the day with my sisters and parents, and of course, Mema. She isn't doing well so please keep her in your prayers. We are all fully aware that this is probably our last Thanksgiving with her. But she's surprised us in the past!

Because the first "Thanksgiving" (see previous post) was celebrated for three days and we are still celebrating, I will say again.....Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving

Today in the United States we set aside a day to give thanks for the bounty we receive. I got to teach about Thanksgiving this week because we happen to be learning about the cultural geography of the Unites States and Canada. While there are many misconceptions about the first Thanksgiving, the central purpose of the day is still the same. I don't mean to tarnish anyone's ideas about the history, but I find that in knowing the truth, the day actually has more meaning.

My students were surprised to find that Thanksgiving did not become an actual holiday until 1863. They also were surprised to find out that the first thanksgiving was not in November as it was a harvest festival and harvest is in early fall. Also, Franklin Roosevelt tried to change Thanksgiving to boost the economy. It really didn't work because people were outraged that he would try to change a holiday, even though government and religious leaders do it all the time throughout history. After he tried to jack with everyone's perceptions, the holiday was given a permanent date on the calendar. It is also interesting to note that the pilgrim's first harvest festival in 1621 was not what they would consider to be a thanksgiving. It was after many hardships in the following years, seasons of drought, sickness, and death that they had a thanksgiving which they considered to be purely a religious day and which they actually called Thanksgiving. Harvest festivals were a tradition brought over from Europe. And while the indigenous population did share in the feasting which lasted three days, there was most likely little hand holding and singing around the camp fire among them and the pilgrims. They were still very divided due to race, religion, lifestyle, etc. Samoset and Squanto were helpful but whites only please!

Ok, so what is my point? I do have one, I promise. I know that modern historians tend to seem jaded or cynical but that is not my purpose. My point and the lesson I taught in school, is that no matter what your religion or lack thereof, thanksgiving is a day for you. No matter your race, creed, faction, religion, height, weight, hair color, eye color, your thoughts on Harry Potter, your political party, your belief on global warming (a sham by the way...just kidding), or whatever the case may be, you can still celebrate Thanksgiving. Because no matter who you are thanking, be it God, Allah, Buddha, the Sun God, the great Turtle on whose back the world was carried, the head of the GOP, or just sending out thanks to the universe, you can still be thankful. And we have so much to be thankful for.

An interesting side note, it was not my religious students who had trouble with me saying that Thanksgiving is not purely a religious holiday, it was the self proclaimed atheist. I thought it would be the other way around. But by the end of the class discussion, he said he saw my point. Who knows, maybe he's giving thanks, just being grateful that is, for all that he has in his life.

Which brings me to a tradition my late Aunt Jo used to have at her house every Thanksgiving. She kept a book from year to year in which everyone who was in attendance was expected to write what they were thankful for in the last year. My happiest Thanksgiving memories are of being at my Aunt Jo's. I cannot eat green bean casserole or a clover roll without thinking of her and her great big smile that lit up the room. Her laugh was not a delicate laugh, although she herself always seemed delicate. When she thought something was extremely funny, her laugh would start out silently and then only make noise when she was breathing in and her nose would wrinkle up all the way to her eyes. I miss her the most at Thanksgiving. Today I want to honor her memory by making my own list of what I am thankful for.

I am thankful, first and foremost, for my dear husband who I know was directed to my life by God. He has changed my life in so many wonderful ways. He is the greatest blessing I have ever received.

I am thankful for my family. I could not always say this in my life. There were really dark times of my childhood which prevented me from being thankful that I belonged to my family. But now, that has changed. Some people have changed, which began healing in my heart, and in another way, I have changed, allowing those of my family to finally know me, to know what has plagued my existence. There is no person in this world who could have caused these changes and I thank God for His movement in my life.

I am thankful for my family. Oh wait, I already said that. No, it wasn't a mistake. I am thankful that my family is alive. My father has been ill for almost 10 years and in the past has been on the brink of moving on. But today, he is healthy in spirit and in mind, and is probably better physically than he's been in 10 years. For those of you who have healthy parents, be thankful. In so many ways, I lost my father 10 years ago. But in another way, in the past year, I have gotten a father I never had. God works in mysterious ways. For this, I am thankful.

I am thankful for life. This may sound cliche but it is true. I have had times in my life where I did not want to be alive or times when I felt I wasn't alive. So for me, life itself is a blessing. And perhaps even greater than the blessing of life itself, I am thankful that I know that I am alive and that I want to be alive. Praise God.

I am thankful for the bounty it which I live. Steven and I are not rich in any worldly manner. In fact, without the help of my mother over the past year, we would probably be homeless. Even though we never really have money, we have never gone hungry, we have always been warm or cool when necessary, we have never gone barefoot, we have never gone without clothing, and when we have been ill, we have had medical care. So thinking in those terms, we are rich. I am thankful to my mother, and to God who put the love and inspiration into her heart.

I am thankful that I am about to graduate! This really should tie into the paragraph above because the reason we never have money is that I have been a professional student for what seems like an eternity. I have written before that my college years have been difficult and they have been. But now they are coming to an end and I couldn't be more grateful. Graduation will be the closing of a very tumultuous chapter of my life but also a time of change which was definitely needed. So I could also say here, thank you Lord for trials and tribulations because the valleys make the mountain tops so much greater!

I pray that everyone has a happy day regardless of where you are and who you are thanking. Enjoy your turkey, be it fried, roasted, stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, or however you may or may not eat it. In everything, let us all be thankful.

Blogging absence

It has been quite some time since I wrote last. My absence is due to multiple reasons. Firstly, student teaching has been consumed most of my time. During my first placement the actual teaching was much easier but I had to complete what is called the Teacher Work Sample which was horrific. In short, it was a 54 page paper proving I understand the method of teaching. I finished that and scored a 3 which is the highest can be scored and it was very difficult so I am not ashamed to say I am proud of myself. It was a lot of work that I would never, ever want to have to do again and I feel is quite an accomplishment.

Although I didn't have to worry about the TWS in my second placement of student teaching, the placement itself has been quite a bit more trying. I love the students and the courses I am teaching but I don't fit in well with the grown-ups. We get along but we have very different teaching methods and ideas. I have learned a great deal, specifically that where you teach is very important because personality is a factor. It has been a good learning experience, just trying in a way that I did not expect. Thankfully, I have only have 9 more school days before I am done!!!! And only 28 days until graduation!

When I put up that countdown on my blog wall a year ago, it seemed like the number would never go down. And now, I can't believe I'm actually almost done! It is wonderful, exciting, and scary all at the same time. Being a December graduate is already a disadvantage to finding a teaching position but even more than that, the economy is definitely impacting the availability of jobs. As of last week, there were no positions available in the districts around where we live. But, if I have learned anything, it is to remember that God is in control and He will provide.

Another reason I have not posted in so long is that I was really sick for several weeks. I developed a bad kidney infection and had to go through 3 rounds of antibiotics before it healed. And as if that were not enough, immediately following, I got the flu. And I even had the flu shot this year! I ran fever for 6 solid days and was miserable. I feel for anyone who is suffering with the flu because there is nothing that seems to bring comfort. If you lay down, you cough. If the fan is on, you cough. If the fan is off, you sweat. But even worse than having the flu was having to miss visiting some family in the Dallas area. I was really looking forward to seeing them but could not because I felt so terribly, and would not because I didn't want to get them sick. Hopefully we will all be able to visit soon.

This has been a trying semester, but then again, I don't remember when I've had an easy semester. I don't think that it exists. Other than sickness and regular student teaching duties, I have also been dealing with personal, family issues. These issues continue to arise in my life and I used to long for days when I would no longer be plagued with such problems but I have come to accept that they are part of my life. They are part of who I am whether I like it or not. But even though I know I will always have to live with what has happened, I pray that eventually life will not come to a screeching halt whenever someone decides they need to react in one way or another. I also hope that some day I can serve a purpose in the lives of those who have been made to suffer in the same way as myself. In addition, perhaps someday I will be able to talk freely about myself without feeling judged or uncomfortable. I know there is no day but today, but sometimes there are things too painful to think on in the moment. No matter what the case, God will never leave us comfortless. In that promise I will build my foundation.

Less than one hundred....

...is how many days are left before I graduate! It is incredibly monumental. I have had that countdown up for quite some time and the days are slowly dwindling. Then again, I'm already halfway through my first student teaching placement so maybe time is not moving so slowly.

I have applied for graduation and entered my name exactly how I want it to appear on my diploma. That moment gave me a chill of excitement. I had already decided what I wanted on my diploma but I wanted to make completely sure of my choice before I entered and pushed the final submit button. After I did that, there would be no going back.

It may seem strange that I had problems deciding what I wanted on my diploma. I mean, your name is your name. It doesn't change on a whim. Well, maybe some people's do but mine doesn't. Anyway, my legal name is my first name, Amanda, followed by my middle name and my married last name of Deardorff. When I got married I completely dropped my maiden name legally. So logically, my legal name would appear on my diploma. It is my name after all. However, I completed over half of my college career with my maiden name. It was actually the most difficult half due to family problems and personal issues. In those years I feel I gained the most "life knowledge." I struggled with school, had to drop out a few times, and went back while overcoming major difficulties. When I got married, I took on new struggles but really, without having already overcome so much, I would have never been able to deal with the troubles during the second half of my college life. I also feel it is important to honor my parents, especially my mother, who has pushed so hard for me to complete my degree and helped me gain a foothold in the world of education. When I got married, while she was happy I found someone so wonderful who made me so happy, she commented that she was sorry that none of her children would graduate college with their maiden name, which of course is also her name.

So here is what I am getting at. I decided that my diploma should have both my maiden and married last names. I have omitted my middle name and replaced it with my maiden name. Just for my diploma, that is. And for when I become a famous writer. I think I'll use it as a pen name. :o)

This may not mean a whole lot to anyone but it is symbolic for me and hopefully for my mother as well. I want to honor what she has done for me. The fact that she has overcome a lifetime of troubles so that I might have a better life is not lost on me. And hopefully my children can say the same thing about me someday.

I cannot wait for graduation....have I said that yet? :o)

Well, I successfully completed 2 weeks of student teaching and I am still alive and well. I have really begun to feel comfortable at Brenham Junior High, which is something because there was a time in my life, and not too long ago mind you, that I didn't feel comfortable anywhere. I really like my students, my teacher has let me teach quite a bit so far, and the other teachers have welcomed me nicely. I've caught myself wishing that I didn't have to move up to the high school in October. I would have never expected to like junior high so much! That just goes to show that you never know until you try something whether you'll like it or not!

As much as I like going to school, I am so glad for this three day weekend. My house needs some serious attention. Yesterday I planned to get started but we all know about best laid plans. Pretty much all I got done was my classwork for my PE class. Oh boy, let me tell you about that.

Last weekend Steven and I went to Houston to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. Ok, we went to celebrate and so that I could go to the orientation of my online PE course (i know...PE online, I'm ashamed) which was at the Lone Star College campus in North Harris Co. I think the school used to be called North Harris Comm. College. Anyway, the last credit I need before I graduate excepting my student teaching is PE. Let me explain... I tried to take the class at SHSU some years ago but it was an 8:00 AM class, I had another class at 9:00 across campus and it was taught by a guy who had bricks for brains. All he could talk about the first day was how "ripped" his muscles were and his football stats. I already had an aversion to PE because of traumatic junior high days and this guy was dumb. So I dropped the course. And every semester following, classes that were way more important conflicted and honestly, I do not understand going to a class so worthless three times a week for one hour of credit. I have had to work my way through college and my time is valuable. Last Spring I tried to take PE online through Lone Star but we couldn't afford the class at the time. So here I am, at the end of my college career, needing a PE credit.

So I enrolled in this online class and found out you have to go three times in the semester, one orientation day, one pre-fitness test, and the real fitness test. Ok, I had heard about the fitness exams at SHSU. You walk or run a mile, just however long it takes you, as long as you do it, you are ok. WELL -- Lone Star takes the same class, for the same credit, MUCH more seriously. Boo.... By December I have to walk 3 miles in 36 MINUTES. Um...excuse me? Coach Bricks-for-Brains was looking pretty good when I heard about that. This is how I look at it:

1/3 of me wants to complain and moan about how unfair it is that this class which is supposed to be the same credit is so much harder. Lone Star and SHSU work together on this. They are partners. Why then are the classes so different! It isn't fair!

Another 1/3 says - this is what you get for waiting so long and now you have no other option so suck it up.

And the last 1/3 says, hey, this is a good opportunity to get yourself together and start a real exercise routine. I have been so busy and am so tired when I get home from school that I just crash. But my hours are never going to get any better. I am now working the hours I will work as a teacher. So being forced to work towards this crazy goal of 3 miles in 36 mins, can be a good thing. I had to do an initial health profile that included my weight (yuck) and I found out that I had lost 10 lbs in three weeks before even starting the exercise. So that was also an encouragement. I just really hate working out. I am not athletic, I am not coordinated, and I always feel out of place. But we have a nice walking trail around our apartment complex that I walked this week and it wasn't too bad. I turned on the Beatles on my MP3 and started walking. I'll try to update about how I'm doing. So far I am only walking 1/2 a mile in 20 mins. I have a long way to go.

So since I had to go to that awful class last weekend in Houston, Steven and I used the opportunity to celebrate our anniversary. Some of our family had suggested using Priceline - Name your own Price and I am so glad we did. We stayed at the Intercontinental Hotel for less than we would have paid to stay at a LaQuinta or another regular hotel. It was so nice!!! We went to the Downtown Aquarium on Saturday after my class and had a fancy dinner to celebrate and then went to the Houston Museum of Natural Science the next day. Since Steven had never been to the museum and I hadn't been since I was a kid, we skipped the special exhibits and just saw the main hall. I'm really glad we did that because the special exhibit was the Terracotta Warriors of China, which I am definitely interested in but it cost $30 a person to get in! Just to that one exhibit!!!! So we opted for the main hall, the planetarium, and the IMAX. I was looking forward to seeing the IMAX because we chose to see "Under the Sea." It was a really awesome film but I was a bit disappointed. I understand that we need to treat the earth with respect and not pollute the ocean. But I really just wanted to see some cool marine life. Instead the last half of the film we were preached to about how the evils of men have ruined the oceans. I get it, we ruin everything. I've switched from bottled water to a tap filter. I turn off my lights when I leave the room. Could I please just enjoy these beautiful ocean creatures?! Does HALF of the film need to be about pollution? The film was called "Under the Sea" not "The Sea which is Disappearing Because YOU are Polluting It." I find it very ironic that they would show that film and then you walk 20 feet to the oil and natural gas exhibit where they talk about how beneficial Houston's oil production is to the world. Ok...end of rant. You get the idea.

Overall we enjoyed our trip so much. We hadn't been away by ourselves since our honeymoon to Kemah three years ago! Every time we've been anywhere it was to visit family so this was really a great things for us. It was a good refresher and great to be away from the daily grind. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband. He has changed my life in so many ways.

In other news, (my, this post is long - I should probably post more frequently), Mema is not doing so well. She has been in and out of the hospital quite a bit and cannot walk without someone being there to help her - even with her walker. She is really weak. Her dementia is much worse and her eyesight and hearing are not great either. But she still remembers when it is time for medicine or coffee without fail!

Daddy had another MRI a few weeks ago because he has had some new pain in his neck and arms recently. He went to see the neurologist and unfortunately there is nothing that can be done. The damage to his spinal cord is too extensive. The new MRI shows that at one point in his neck, the cord is severed over halfway through from the front, back, and one side. The doctor has recommended a power chair for him because any more surgery they may do would not be helpful. When I talked to him this week he was in good spirits which is a blessing. He has come a long way in a short period of time.

I guess I'll end this incredibly long post. I love to blog and I probably should more often. A writer must write, or at least that's what I've been told. :o)

Everyone have a good Labor Day! I'll be cleaning because my mom always told us Labor Day was for laboring. Her dad always told her that so I guess I'll keep up the tradition despite its historical inaccuracies!

Reflections of Summer

Tomorrow is my first day of student teaching. My first placement is with an 8th grade US History class and my second placement is with a 9th grade Geography class. For the past week and a half I have been enduring hours of orientation, last minute reminders, meetings with supervisors and mentors and finally, a real life faculty meeting at the junior high. I am beyond excited! Not only does this mean I am at the beginning of the end of my college career, I am almost a real life teacher! I am ecstatic!

So far, my experience with the junior high has been wonderful! I really like my mentor and the other teachers in the department. They were all very encouraging and nice. One of the greatest things that happened with my mentor is that she asked what I wanted to do after graduating. I told her honestly - "FIND A JOB!" I explained to her that Steven has so patiently waited for me to graduate and has supported me through these last few years of school and now it is my turn to do the same for him. Since he wants to go to A&M, we would like to stay around here of course. Well, it turns out that one of the teachers will be having a baby over Christmas and they will need a long term substitute in the spring! When she asked if I was interested I did not hesitate to say absolutely! I have heard that long term subbing is a good way to get a job in a district. Also, it will ensure that I will be earning at least some money in case I can't find a job right away. I was so pleased! My constant prayer is that I will be successful this semester and get a job! So I will leave it in the Lord's hands and as always, He knows what I stand in need of. Obviously!!!

This summer has been a pretty good summer, all in all. I finished up at the daycare a week and a half ago - (not even one day off between work and school, thus is life!) - and I cried like a little baby. It was not so much that I was leaving the kids, although I did really like them. I only had them for the summer and we just seemed to go, go, go all summer so I didn't grow extremely attached to all of them but I did to some. I was more emotional about leaving the daycare itself. I started working at that daycare in August of 2002 when I first started college at A&M. Leaving there feels like a chapter of my life is closing, which it is. I just didn't feel the full affects of it until the day I quit. The staff gave me a really sweet card and a poem about my service to the daycare which also made me cry like a baby. That place has served a major purpose in my life. It has driven me to become a teacher, it has been a place of comfort when I felt lost, and I have made many friends there. While not all of my memories are fond (ie - unreasonable parents, explosive diarrhea, head lice, being sick every two weeks) I will recall these years at the daycare with great affection. I am very glad to have had the experience of working there, both the happy and poopy experiences!

This summer has also given me the opportunity to let go of several problems in my life. Some day I may blog about these problems in greater detail but for now, I really can't. What I can say is that I have been able to see situations and people through eyes of wisdom and experience. And I say that not to build myself up but to show how God has given me the wisdom to see things as they are and be at peace. I have changed how I place value on relationships and I have let go of things which I have no control over. I know that there will be times that I will need to be reminded of these things but all in all, I feel I have made some positive changes. I know there is a right and a wrong and it is ok to pick a side. Having compassion for someone does not mean I must agree with them and being compassionate does not mean that I do agree. I will not agree to something that is wrong. And through this summer's events, I have found confidence in being able to say that. Several years ago I could not but by the grace of God, I can now.

Now the summer is ending and school begins tomorrow. I just cannot believe it! This semester I will be teaching, taking my certification exams, writing the dreaded Teacher Work Sample, and if God will see me too it, GRADUATION!!!! I am ready!

The Death of an Oldsmobile

We had a little car
it was painted apple red
It took us near and far
But now that car is dead

With a shake and a moan
it breathed its last breath
gave one final groan
and gave in to death

We turned in that Olds
although it went bust
in a move that was bold
got a car that we trust

Its shiny and black
has air that is cold
small and compact
Good-bye busted OLDS!!!!
-AAD-

This week we learned that our Oldsmobile Intrigue was going to need a new engine. It was not worth the cost of what we were going to have to pay to have it fixed. In addition to the engine, we have been driving it for almost 4 years without air conditioning. Does anyone know what the temperatures have been in College Station, TX this month? Record highs!!!! It also had only two working windows which occasionally didn't in fact work and some cosmetic damage where someone hit me on campus but didn't leave any info. We were fine with all of the interior malfunctions, (well, maybe not the broken air conditioner) , but we could not do without a working engine. After all, that is the central nervous system of a car.

It seems that this could not have happened at a worse time but I suppose that is how these things go. The Olds was our only mode of transportation and starting in August, I will be driving 40 miles one way to student teach every day. But with some help from my parents, we have obtained a beautiful new-to-us Chevrolet Cobalt. Really it's pretty new anyway being a 2008. It's a little car, 4 cyl - so it will be good on gas, it has AIR CONDITIONING - so now I can wear my hair down to church and work, and the payments will be low which is the most important thing. We are so thankful for the help we have gotten. When I found out Monday that the Olds needed a whole new engine, I felt like the floor fell out beneath me. But God provides. And now we won't melt into puddles of Deardorff-goo every time we have to drive more than 10 miles in the 9 month long Texas summer!!!

Other than car drama, everything here is steady moving forward. I take my practice competency exam on Tuesday July 7th and will hopefully be cleared for the real one. It is really scary!!! But I will do my best which is all I can do. And I'm going to try not to stress too much over it this weekend because I want to enjoy my days off from work for 4th of July!!!

And on that note, I believe I will go sit in my new car for a few minutes and enjoy NOT getting hot in the Texas sun!!!!

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!!!!!!

Last weekend was the first weekend in about six weeks that I actually enjoyed. The weeks have been busy, full of going and coming which has left me with little time to think. When the weekend has rolled around, I've had emotional overload because I finally had to stop and think. But this past weekend I actually felt happy, something I hadn't been able to feel in a while. And because the weekend didn't involve an emotional upheaval, I haven't had to start my week with an up-hill climb. I am so thankful for this past weekend. Perhaps many people wouldn't recognize the blessing of being happy, or even just not sad, but I do and for me, it is no small blessing. I am thankful that my family seems to be doing well, my granny is at peace, and I am at peace (for the most part).

In regards to keeping busy, I am surely busy. I am working back at the pre-school and am teaching the 5 year olds. Last week we went on 4 field trips - bowling, the movies, the Waco Zoo, and to a place called The Bounce where there are about 10 moon bounces set up for the kids to play. This week so far we have been to Gattitown and the movies, and will go to the library and the Oil Ranch in Hockley. These trips are really fun but really stressful because of the loading and unloading of the children and their seats. Getting 16 children buckled in is no easy task. Then at places like Gattitown, the zoo, and the Oil Ranch, keeping them together is a major elevation in stress levels. But it is really fun and I really like the kids. I had quite a few of them before when they were 3 years old so they knew me and I knew them, or at least the major difficulties I may face with some of them. One child in particular tends to grate on my nerves. It is not that I do not like this child but these kids are little people and adults sometimes annoy each other, as do children. Anyway, this child is constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY complaining about something. She will complain if her food touches, or there is a spot on her finger, or someone looks at her....no joke. If I had a dollar for every time she has already cried over someone looking at her, I could probably buy the laptop I want. And it's only the middle of JUNE! This child is very, very high maintenance. I pray for patience with that child every hour of every day it seems. Two more months to go!!!

Other than that, summer is going as well as can be expected at this point. It's hot but then again, I live in Texas!!! Hot is normal!!!

D-Day and inner thoughts

My blogging lately has been sporadic because there is a lot going on in my life right now and it has been difficult to find time to write. Actually, time has been limited because I have been working a lot but really things in my life have been difficult in general which have made me not want to do much of anything except come home and sleep after work. Writing is very emotional for me because it is something I love so dearly. When I write I feel I can be my true self. But in the recent weeks that has been difficult.

I learned several years ago that if one is not true to oneself, one cannot be true to anyone else. If I am not completely honest with me, then what I portray to others is a lie. The down side to that is that people may not always like who you really are. But in reality, if they don't like who you really are, are they really that important? They don't have to live with you and without them life can go on, but you always must live with yourself.

Today is the 66th anniversary of D-Day when the Allies stormed the beaches at Normandy. My grandfather, my mother's father, arrived at Normandy two days after and marched across France and into Germany. Along the way he was run over by a tank but was unharmed because he quickly flattened himself into a ditch as the tank rolled over him. Later, he and his unit were bombed in their shelter and he was sent home unconscious and awoke only after being back in the states for several weeks. I have only a few memories of my grandfather but I am so proud of the service he gave to our country. And I am thankful that God provided him a way back to health because 20 years later he adopted my mother and gave her stability and love that she may never have known.

Been a long time...

It has been a very long time since I posted last. So much has happened, I don't think I can put everything in here but I will try to give an overview of the past month or so since I posted.

First of all, SCHOOL IS OUT! I am so relieved! It was a very, very difficult semester and having it completed is so wonderful. I am not sure how my grades are but I don't think I've done too bad. I had some setbacks this semester because of my own illnesses but I got back on track and finished. To explain this illness issue, first of all, I had the foot surgery catastrophe in January that set me back slightly but then in April, something awful hit me. We still don't know what happened but the doctors think I probably had a gallbladder infection. I passed out twice and was really dizzy for a few days with pain in the right side of my chest. I'm still not convinced it was my gallbladder because they didn't find anything wrong with it. What I've noticed since getting better is that my shoulder blade will hurt when I am really tired or stressed (which has been frequent during the past 5 months) and the right side of my chest will hurt. But I haven't had anymore dizziness or fainting so I guess I'm ok for now. The doctor said to just keep an eye on it. In the past two weeks I have been feeling really good so maybe I'm all better. I hope so!!! That was really scary and set me back in my semester. Thankfully I had really great Methods teachers who were very understanding and made me feel better about everything! They were so helpful. I couldn't have asked for more understanding teachers.

Unfortunately, I did have to drop my two English classes but that turned out to be ok too. As it turned out, I wasn't going to be able to student teach in both English and History and in order to teach a subject in Texas, all you have to do is be certified in one area, and take the competency exam in whatever you wish. In other words, once I pass my PPR and competency exam for History, I can take the English certification test and be certified that way. So my English work was really just extra work that I didn't need and once my semester got so hectic and crazy, they were the obvious classes to get rid of since they were essentially just electives at this point. I've been told that it will be a good thing to have so many hours of English to support my certification anyway so, there ya go.

In other news, my dad is doing amazingly well. I haven't seen him this well in several years! He is walking around without his walker at times, although he keeps it close by just in case, and he even went down about 12 steps at a restaurant we went to last week! It brought tears to my eyes. He's lost so much weight that he could not only fit into his suits for church again, he had to get new ones because the old ones were too big!!! I cannot express how proud I am of him. He was depressed for a very long time. It's amazing to see how well he can do when he is thinking positively. Also, the new neurologist he is seeing has taken him off of a lot of medications that he didn't need anymore which helps him stay awake and keeps his mind more focused. We all went last weekend to Austin for Littlevine's annual meeting and having my dad there was so uplifting. God has blessed us so much, my heart is overflowing with gratitude! My father and I have had some really hard times together and now I feel as if God has given us a new beginning, a rebirth really. We have so much to be thankful for. I know to some walking down a few steps is absolutely nothing and having your father go to a church meeting with you is usual, but for us, it is a miracle! Praise God!

In regards to my Mema, she is really about the same. She was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, which, ok, means she isn't the same but really she's is as good as can be expected at this point. My mom continuously has to remind her to wear her oxygen and has to keep her from eating too many bananas in one day but all of that is usual. She isn't in the hospital so she's doing ok. :o)

So now I am on summer break and am so glad! No school this summer except an online class and I'll just basically be working back at the pre-school. I started back yesterday as a sub until June 1st and then I'll be a full-time teacher for Friendship Club/Camp Sonlight- our summer day camp. That means I'll get to go on field trips to the movies and the splash pad, the Oil Ranch in Hockley, and the Waco Zoo!!! It's going to be a busy but fun summer! And one of the best parts is that I will be co-teaching with my friend Anesha who was my first friend at the pre-school when I started in 2002. We go way back!

In summation, family is good, methods is over, job in place which means money and fun, and student teaching at Brenham will begin in August, and finally in December -- GRADUATION!!!! Woohoo!!!!!

Quick note before church...

I told someone recently that it feels like my blog has become hospital and school updates lately. I guess that just happens sometimes. Anyway, I'm making a hospital update this morning.

My dad has been acting really strange lately and wanting to sleep non-stop. He usually sleeps a lot but lately he can't keep his eyes open for any length of time. He's even stopped eating because he's too tired. So my mom took him to the emergency room (I told her they should just give her an express lane) and he is back in the hospital. He has another (I think the same) UTI and they are going to re-evaluate his medication. I have voiced my opinion in the past about Huntsville Memorial Hospital and I continue to be reaffirmed in my dislike of their practices. I said all along they let him out too early last time and that I felt they hadn't really found the problem. After moving away from Huntsville, I increasingly feel that the quality of service in the town in general is sub-standard. I never realized it while I lived there but now I see it in the school system, the restaurant and retail industries, and the hospital. I wish my parents would consider moving away because I think their quality of life could be so much better. But they just bought a new house in Huntsville that my mother insists is just what she needs. blah...

I'll jump off of my soap box because I have to get ready for church. I wouldn't normally ever post before church but today, I don't have to make dinner because I did it yesterday. woohoo! I just have to pack it in my dinner box and I'm done!

Spring Break

Spring Break has been a bit of a bummer. Although I am thankful for the rest and the time at home, I would have loved to go on a vacation like Steven and I did last year when we went to Colorado. I just love Colorado. I bet I think of it on a daily basis. Sigh....

As it turns out, Steven and I don't have the same spring break this year. His is next week. Even crummier, this year he only has 2 days off instead of 3. So he has had to work all week and I have had to get up around the same time I usually do to take him to work since we only have one car and in order for him to park at his job, he must pay $600 a year. And he works in transportation and parking!!!! Texas A&M wouldn't want the transportation department to think they were getting any special privileges even though they maintain the garages, the gates, the ticket booths, cameras, etc. It has been a bummer week because it went way too fast and I was alone all week. But there is always a silver lining and mine is that at this time next year I will be graduated and hopefully have a job, taking spring break with the school district I work for. And that means more moolah which also means a greater chance of taking a vacation!!! Like to Colorado..... or wherever. :o)

Ok, so I really shouldn't be complaining so much, I know. At least I got a break from school and driving to Huntsville every day. But unfortunately I am writing this entry on the down slope of the break so all I am thinking about is having to go back the day after tomorrow. Impending doom..... cue scary organ/string music Alfred Hitchcock style. Ok, another silver lining - 8 more weeks of school! See, I really am optimistic. haha. And I really wasn't alone all week. Steven took Friday off of work and we went to the movies. However, winter decided to pull an encore and the high yesterday was 43 degrees with rain, rain, and more rain. The lawn area outside of our patio looks like a mini-lake. I guess that would be a pond, duh. Or would it be a tank because we live in Texas? Does anyone else know about tanks?

Wow, I'm all over the place today. Anyway, we went to see the "Watchmen." I highly DO NOT recommend this movie. It was unbearably long, did not have a developed plot or characters, and was extremely, EXTREMELY violent and had a great deal of nudity/adult "situations." Now, I can handle violence and nudity and am not usually offended by it but this was excessive. One character was unclothed almost the whole time and they did not even attempt to hide anything - at all. I guess they thought it was ok because he was radio-active and bright blue (and computer animated) but it really only made it worse. Halfway through the film I had to ask Steven if this film was rated R or if it didn't have X's in it's rating. And what was worse is that there was no development of characters or a story. Steven and I were both thinking separately about leaving the theater and had we communicated, that is exactly what we would have done. Usually we research movies before we see them but this was a spontaneous venture. Now we know and so do you....we give it four thumbs WAY down.

A highlight of the day was having lunch at Jason's Deli. For a few weeks we have been getting Jason's to go on Saturdays and going to the park to feed the ducks. We are not feeding them Jason's Deli but bread we bring. We love the ducks but not that much! Yesterday, since it was raining, we ate in the restaurant and it was nice. I love their California club with avocado and sprouts. I really enjoy our time on the weekends when we don't have anywhere to go or much to do and we can decide to just go for lunch or stay in, or whatever. Steven is my light in the darkness, my sun through the rain. I had many rough years before I met Steven and I think I will always define them as being pre-Steven years. My life has been divided as the time before I was married and the time after I got married. I am a better person having married him because he has showed me how good I am and how great I can be. I also feel as if daily life isn't so urgent and that it is important to enjoy it. He has taught me what living really means. There is no doubt that he is a blessing from God.

See, I made my way to something happy! I knew I would. :o)