Monday, Monday...Can't trust that day

Yes, I know. Another reference to Mamas and the Papas. I can't help it. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong decade. But then again, I sure do like the Internet and our DVR.

It is Monday and it definitely feels like a Monday. I'm ill with some kind of throat, nasal, ear thing. I didn't do a thing all weekend. At least nothing productive. I wanted to stay ahead with school work and do some more organizing in our house but I was useless on the couch all weekend. We didn't even get to go to church. I hate when we miss church because it messes up my whole week.

Even though I felt awful this morning, I am very proud to say that I did come to school. But let me tell you, it took every ounce of my new found motivation to get here. And here's an ode to Murphy and his law - I forced myself to get up, get dressed, and drive the hour to school and in my first class the professor spoke the whole period about the campus writing center and Chicago manual style of writing and Kate Turabian. Like I haven't heard that a million and a half times. And another let down - my second professor had a TA come in and tell us that he wouldn't be having lecture today. I could have slept another two hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But at least I can be proud of myself for doing my part. But isn't that just typical?

I need some new ideas for quick, healthy dinners. The things I generally make take some time and we don't buy a lot of packaged, pre-cooked things because it's more expensive and usually has more fat content or more salt. Steven would love it if all I ever bought were frozen pizzas and lasagna. I think he is related on some level to Garfield.

Steven and I are looking for a good Asian restaurant. The sushi place we like is a hibachi style place and kinda pricey. Having never moved permanently from Huntsville, I didn't realize how much I relied on Mrs. Ho. :) She is the best in all the land. This is my proclamation for the day.

My baby cousin is doing better each day. It's amazing!!! I just wish I could hold her and kiss her little face. Babies are so wonderful. Of course then they morph into big kids, but I'm thinking it may be worth it.

My, I'm rambling today. It must be the sinuses. I suppose I should put you out of your misery - Adieu.

PS - sort of

I just finished my last class and I realize while walking to the computer lab that it has been cold, dark and rainy every day I've been at school. I like cold better than hot for sure, but being rained on between classes and going to my car makes things a little difficult. But of course, rain is good. I prefer rain to snow I think as far as driving is concerned. Then again - rain is not as pretty as snow, and not nearly as fun as we found out on our Christmas trip! :)

Oh yeah - and my English prof. said the people in early civilizations around the Mediterranean like Egypt, Italy, Crete, etc. didn't have wheat. I wasn't sure that I heard him correctly so I asked him after class (I never correct professors because I'm almost always wrong about what I think) if that was what he said. His response was that it wasn't a major crop but they did have enough to make bread. But I know from church that in the time of Moses they used straw to make bricks so I said "Yes, and bricks." He didn't know what I meant so I said, like in the time of Moses. His response was - "Well, I was talking about the Egyptians, not the Hebrews. Hebrews had wheat, not the Egyptians." I left it at that but - "When Israel was in Egypt land...."

I should be nicer but the teacher is my age, he is late for class, and he lets us go after 20 mins. At least he's a nice guy. And 20 min. class isn't such a bad thing!

Scholarly...so far so good.

Steven and I had a great weekend. We got up Saturday and went to breakfast which was very nice and something we have not been able to do in a long time. It was really nice. Then we decided to take a look at the bed we would like to get soon. It is very exciting. We've been sleeping on my parent's twenty year old mattress on the floor since we got married. It will be great to be American again instead of Japanese. Not that there's anything wrong with it..... :)

So then we continued in our task of organizing our house. It's going slow but that's probably because we are doing it right! Slow and steady wins the race they say. We'll see!!

I spent all of yesterday basically reading. It's good that the triplets I keep mainly like to play with each other. It gives me time to read and make notes. They like to hear what I'm reading about occasionally and then go back to riding their new bikes or being knights. Keep triplets is definitely different than any child care I've ever done. They prefer each other's company in play and tend to speak for each other. The good news is, if I don't know what one of them is saying, there are two other guys ready to explain. They really are good kids. Mischievous, but good.

Friday I made a huge mistake in my list of things to do. I went to the county office I needed to go by, I bought books, got my parking sticker for the campus police, and all in the middle of very, very cold, hard rain. But...I forgot my mom at her doctor's appointment. I felt so bad. She had asked me on Sunday to pick her up but from Sunday to Friday, it completely left my brain. With starting school, learning to commute, financial aid chaos, working and every day life, I just forgot. She was really nice about it though. And she did get home safely. In some ways it is indicative of how my life has changed. In the past I've dropped everything to help when my dad was in the hospital or needed to go to the doctor or Mama needed someone to come help. And I wanted to help, but dropping everything put me way behind in school and in a dangerous position with my GPA. I am working very hard to regain what I've lost. It is an uphill battle all the way.

So far I am doing better than ever in school - although, this can't be qualified yet because I haven't technically received any grades. But I am not only where I'm supposed to be with my homework, but I'm ahead. And I have done outlines of everything I've read which is new for me. Being ahead is new too. I'm not taking any chances.

In one of my history classes we are reading a book called Sam Houston by Haley. We are supposed to do a project over the Sam Houston Memorial Museum this term so I think I have a leg up on the class. I did, after all, work with the museum for 7 years as both a volunteer and a member of the staff. So this should be fun!

So things are still up - as long as I don't leave any more important people behind...

Sing for your Supper

The title really has nothing to do with what I'm feeling today. I just have that Mama's and the Papa's song in my head. As I was travelling to school today before the sun even woke up,(which, by looking outside of the computer lab, it does not appear that the sun will shine today), I listened to my Mama's and the Papa's Greatest Hits. Mama Cas, the things you could have sung had things been different. That's life though.

So today is my second day of class and everything so far is great. I really like my first two classes, which is good since my first class is at 8 AM. It's a lot easier to go to school that early when you enjoy what you are there for. And it of course, makes me be there for my last two classes. To clarify, I do like my Civil War and Recon. class but it is a 400 level with a very intense professor. So I am incredibly intimidated but I will learn a lot I am told.

My financial aid is taking its sweet time so I am forced to only buy the books that I absolutely have to have over the weekend and will have to buy the rest whenever the FAO decides to grant me my funds. Thus is life of a poor married college student. Being fairly newly married means poverty anyway, but add in college student and we become destitute. *only kidding. we have all that we need* :)

My sweet new cousin is doing so well. Her blog is in the list of ones that I read. She's over 2 lbs now and is feeding regularly. God is so amazing. I do not know how anyone can look at that baby and not see God's grace and love. Praise God.

I am really looking forward to the weekend and the monday holiday. It's not really so much that I need a break from school since we just started two days ago, but it will be nice to continue working on our home and finally unpacking. It is a very, very slow process made only slower by the woman issues I was having in the fall. But now I am reasonably cyst free and have been organizing and cleaning. I've never felt better about it either. *refer to previous post*

Life is genuinely good. I feel very different even in class so far. I am one of the old ladies now so I am not concerned with the things I was concerned with in the past. Anxiety is lower because, well, I am no longer a second-hander. This has become my mantra I suppose!

It is so cold today and only supposed to get colder so I guess now would be the best time to try making chili. I've never actually made it because Steven and I don't really care for it but he mentioned he was in the mood for it and so now I am too. I will have to look through my recipes and find the ones I like best. I usually don't end up using recipes because I make up my own and add things I like and omit things I don't care for. But I think for this, I will have to follow a recipe. Anyone have any good ones?

Have a happy weekend!

A New Leaf

I made a comment in my last post about how life is constantly changing and we are always receiving fresh chances to be reborn or renewed. I feel like I'm in this position recently. And it feels wonderful!

I don't know if it's because of the book I read recently, or that I'm going back to school, or that the clouds have just lifted, but I feel like I am renewed and strengthened. Perhaps it is all of these things combined. The grace of God is undoubtedly amazing.

Last week I finish reading The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. It was amazing. I'm not going to say I agree with all that Rand brings out in this work, but like my Granny says, "Eat the chicken and leave the bones." The main message of the novel is basically, be true to yourself - and don't live for others. At first I had a really hard time with this message because I've always been taught to think of others first, help those in need, give even when I have little to give, etc. This is where I had to leave some bones. The author seems to care little for religion and the things of God. I don't know what made me think of it, but I realized, of course she would dislike religions. I do to.

Worldly religions teach followers to work hard, give, be patient, kind and honest so that one could be considered "good," atoned, and pious. But by whom? The judgement of others in this world means little to our lives and absolutely nothing in the eyes of God. What others think and feel only have power when we give them this authority. We must not live to please others but try to live in accordance with the will of God. God has granted us all special talents to live in this world. By using these talents for good in our lives, we can praise God. As far as helping others in need, giving, and thinking of others, of course we are supposed to do these things. But can you breathe for someone else? Can you think, smell, taste, love, desire for anyone else? Absolutely not. First you must live. And life can only come from God. It is not a sin to live.

Yesterday at church we heard a wonderful sermon from Elder Chris Blevins who I am blessed to call family. One of his points was that before we even draw a breath, God must first give life. To say we can work our way to grace and mercy by being pious or living a "good" life, is absurd. To even draw the breath from which we praise God, we must already be granted mercy and living in grace. Otherwise we have the cart before the horse and that's literally a "no go."

Another message in the book was that for living a life true to oneself, we will be persecuted. I do not feel it is a coincidence that I began to understand this idea fully, and then Chris preached this very thing yesterday. God does move mysteriously and this is a perfect example. It happens so often that something will be on my mind and then the preacher will preach on the very thing that has been troubling. It's a wonder that people have a hard time seeing God in their lives. But of course, we go through those times as well. Our time on the mountain means very little when we haven't been in the valley.

It is true that when one stands up for what is right, there will be people ready to tear them down. What is so amazing about the Kingdom of God is that we are not alone in our fight. Unfortunately, we often see the sinful flesh in each other instead of recognizing the Godly spirit that the children of God have. This is a problem even among blood relatives. But all we can do is pray for God to grant peace. I cannot change them because I do not live second-hand.

I suppose all of this has given me the motivation I've needed for a while. Is wonderful when God removes a burden. A heavy burden will effect every part of one's life. But once the load is lifted, you can actually take a breath. An unhindered breath in the grace of God is the sweetest feeling we can feel. Because first you must live before you can breathe.

So Steven and I used the weekend to get some things on track, mainly our home. School starts Wednesday and I have never been more ready. This isn't the first time I've returned to school, but this time it feels different. Everything feels different. And it's good.