The end of the year; the closing of a decade...

So much has happened since I posted last, I really am struggling with where to begin. The past month has been very eventful. I suppose I should start with what I have been blogging about the most in the past year, so I will begin with school.

School has ended. Haha, yeah right, you weren't getting off that easy.

After passing the PPR portion of my certification, I took the content area exam. It was the single hardest exam I have ever laid my eyes on. After the first ten questions I felt like that if someone had drawn a cartoon of me at that moment, they would have drawn a chimpanzee banging on a keyboard in a cubicle. I studied a great deal, not to mention the several years of history courses in college, but this exam covered history from the beginning to now. As in "life began between the Tigris and the Euphrates" to "the war on terrorism and GW Bush." I left the testing center honestly feeling that I had completely failed and would have to take the exam again. But, that wasn't the case! I passed and did fairly well. I was beyond pleased! So now I am fully certified! I am only awaiting the confirmation of the university so that I can receive my actual paper certification. Which, by the way, costs just as much as one of the exams. But that's a rant for another day.

School has dominated my life for quite sometime now, and by extension this blog, but now I am finished! I graduated December 19 at 10:00 AM. The ceremony was long and boring, the speaker really had no point in his speech but even if he had, the graduates would have not heard it. The speaker system was aimed at the audience, not the graduates so we just heard muffled "wah-wahs" a la Charlie Brown. Walking across the stage was the absolute best part of the whole day. I got so see my parents right before I went up on the stage because the handicapped seating was located by the ramp. My mom was only slightly embarrassing - and really more cute than anything - because she literally got up to jump up and down. And when I walked, the vice-president of the university got out of his seat and ran to the other side of the stage so he could shake my hand. He is the father of friends I knew when I was a kid. I was surprised that he remembered me. It was quite an honor. The only thing that went wrong at the ceremony was that they spelled my middle name wrong in the program. Believe me, I was not happy. When I was handed my card during lineup, my face got very hot. Setting aside the thousands and thousands of dollars which have been paid to the school, the hours of torment studying for exam, the countless phone calls to the registrars, advisers, financial aid, etc. which have only ended in being passed down the line and becoming confused and frustrated beyond belief, after years of stress over idiot parking lots or lack thereof, AND probably the most infuriating aspect - being so careful to "type my name just as I want it to appear" (see earlier posts), they SPELL MY NAME WRONG! And they just happened to misspell the portion of my name which I felt was the most important. I had substituted my maiden name for my middle name because I wanted to honor my parents and my unmarried years of school. GRR!!! The registrar fixed it on my diploma but it was of course too late for the program. Boo... The registrar did admit it was human error on their part and took the blame. That was a first - the university taking responsibility instead of blaming it on the "dumb college students." Isn't that how it always goes? I try to do something special and to no avail. Oh well. My parents got the idea of what I was trying to convey and my diploma will be correct. But it was a definite Charlie Brown moment when I saw my name card. And I'm graduated which was the desired result. :o) I am now a college graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in History and a minor in Secondary Education certified to teach grades 8-12. And now for grad school.... haha, just kidding....for now.

Because of graduation, Christmas was a rushed affair. Steven and I never even got to put up a tree. If you know me personally, you know that Christmas is my favorite holiday. When I was growing up, my sister and I would start listening to holiday music in the summer. I just love everything about the holidays. So not decorating or doing the usual holiday preparations really made this year seem odd. It was rushed and over before I even got into the mindset of Christmas. Actually, the odd feeling is kind of fitting for 2009. It was a funky year for me. I honestly will not remember this year fondly except having graduated this year. It was rough in every aspect of my life. I am looking forward to beginning a new year, a new decade, a fresh start on a new portion of my life. I am not naive in thinking that the troubles from 2009 will not follow me into the new year, but perhaps I am better equipped than before. And though events cannot be foreseen, I was caught of guard by several major events this past year that perhaps I am more prepared for now. Regardless, I know that God has brought us through and will continue to guide and protect us in the future. This alone is sufficient comfort as long as I can keep that in thought.

Here's hoping for a happy new year and a great new decade for everyone!

I passed!

I passed the PPR! 279/300!!! If I did my math correctly, which it really wouldn't be a surprise if I didn't seeing as I am terrible at mathematics, that translates to 93%. So I did pretty well! Passing is great so regardless of my score, as long as it was above 80%, the required passing rate, I'm great!

Oh, PPR stands for Professional and Pedagogical Responsibilities. It's a tricky test because they have a "real world" answer and an "ideal world" answer on each question and you have to choose the latter because it's about what they want you to do. I'm not sure who "they" are but it's them, I know. :o)

Yay! Now I'm off to go spend the day with my sisters and parents, and of course, Mema. She isn't doing well so please keep her in your prayers. We are all fully aware that this is probably our last Thanksgiving with her. But she's surprised us in the past!

Because the first "Thanksgiving" (see previous post) was celebrated for three days and we are still celebrating, I will say again.....Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving

Today in the United States we set aside a day to give thanks for the bounty we receive. I got to teach about Thanksgiving this week because we happen to be learning about the cultural geography of the Unites States and Canada. While there are many misconceptions about the first Thanksgiving, the central purpose of the day is still the same. I don't mean to tarnish anyone's ideas about the history, but I find that in knowing the truth, the day actually has more meaning.

My students were surprised to find that Thanksgiving did not become an actual holiday until 1863. They also were surprised to find out that the first thanksgiving was not in November as it was a harvest festival and harvest is in early fall. Also, Franklin Roosevelt tried to change Thanksgiving to boost the economy. It really didn't work because people were outraged that he would try to change a holiday, even though government and religious leaders do it all the time throughout history. After he tried to jack with everyone's perceptions, the holiday was given a permanent date on the calendar. It is also interesting to note that the pilgrim's first harvest festival in 1621 was not what they would consider to be a thanksgiving. It was after many hardships in the following years, seasons of drought, sickness, and death that they had a thanksgiving which they considered to be purely a religious day and which they actually called Thanksgiving. Harvest festivals were a tradition brought over from Europe. And while the indigenous population did share in the feasting which lasted three days, there was most likely little hand holding and singing around the camp fire among them and the pilgrims. They were still very divided due to race, religion, lifestyle, etc. Samoset and Squanto were helpful but whites only please!

Ok, so what is my point? I do have one, I promise. I know that modern historians tend to seem jaded or cynical but that is not my purpose. My point and the lesson I taught in school, is that no matter what your religion or lack thereof, thanksgiving is a day for you. No matter your race, creed, faction, religion, height, weight, hair color, eye color, your thoughts on Harry Potter, your political party, your belief on global warming (a sham by the way...just kidding), or whatever the case may be, you can still celebrate Thanksgiving. Because no matter who you are thanking, be it God, Allah, Buddha, the Sun God, the great Turtle on whose back the world was carried, the head of the GOP, or just sending out thanks to the universe, you can still be thankful. And we have so much to be thankful for.

An interesting side note, it was not my religious students who had trouble with me saying that Thanksgiving is not purely a religious holiday, it was the self proclaimed atheist. I thought it would be the other way around. But by the end of the class discussion, he said he saw my point. Who knows, maybe he's giving thanks, just being grateful that is, for all that he has in his life.

Which brings me to a tradition my late Aunt Jo used to have at her house every Thanksgiving. She kept a book from year to year in which everyone who was in attendance was expected to write what they were thankful for in the last year. My happiest Thanksgiving memories are of being at my Aunt Jo's. I cannot eat green bean casserole or a clover roll without thinking of her and her great big smile that lit up the room. Her laugh was not a delicate laugh, although she herself always seemed delicate. When she thought something was extremely funny, her laugh would start out silently and then only make noise when she was breathing in and her nose would wrinkle up all the way to her eyes. I miss her the most at Thanksgiving. Today I want to honor her memory by making my own list of what I am thankful for.

I am thankful, first and foremost, for my dear husband who I know was directed to my life by God. He has changed my life in so many wonderful ways. He is the greatest blessing I have ever received.

I am thankful for my family. I could not always say this in my life. There were really dark times of my childhood which prevented me from being thankful that I belonged to my family. But now, that has changed. Some people have changed, which began healing in my heart, and in another way, I have changed, allowing those of my family to finally know me, to know what has plagued my existence. There is no person in this world who could have caused these changes and I thank God for His movement in my life.

I am thankful for my family. Oh wait, I already said that. No, it wasn't a mistake. I am thankful that my family is alive. My father has been ill for almost 10 years and in the past has been on the brink of moving on. But today, he is healthy in spirit and in mind, and is probably better physically than he's been in 10 years. For those of you who have healthy parents, be thankful. In so many ways, I lost my father 10 years ago. But in another way, in the past year, I have gotten a father I never had. God works in mysterious ways. For this, I am thankful.

I am thankful for life. This may sound cliche but it is true. I have had times in my life where I did not want to be alive or times when I felt I wasn't alive. So for me, life itself is a blessing. And perhaps even greater than the blessing of life itself, I am thankful that I know that I am alive and that I want to be alive. Praise God.

I am thankful for the bounty it which I live. Steven and I are not rich in any worldly manner. In fact, without the help of my mother over the past year, we would probably be homeless. Even though we never really have money, we have never gone hungry, we have always been warm or cool when necessary, we have never gone barefoot, we have never gone without clothing, and when we have been ill, we have had medical care. So thinking in those terms, we are rich. I am thankful to my mother, and to God who put the love and inspiration into her heart.

I am thankful that I am about to graduate! This really should tie into the paragraph above because the reason we never have money is that I have been a professional student for what seems like an eternity. I have written before that my college years have been difficult and they have been. But now they are coming to an end and I couldn't be more grateful. Graduation will be the closing of a very tumultuous chapter of my life but also a time of change which was definitely needed. So I could also say here, thank you Lord for trials and tribulations because the valleys make the mountain tops so much greater!

I pray that everyone has a happy day regardless of where you are and who you are thanking. Enjoy your turkey, be it fried, roasted, stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, or however you may or may not eat it. In everything, let us all be thankful.

Blogging absence

It has been quite some time since I wrote last. My absence is due to multiple reasons. Firstly, student teaching has been consumed most of my time. During my first placement the actual teaching was much easier but I had to complete what is called the Teacher Work Sample which was horrific. In short, it was a 54 page paper proving I understand the method of teaching. I finished that and scored a 3 which is the highest can be scored and it was very difficult so I am not ashamed to say I am proud of myself. It was a lot of work that I would never, ever want to have to do again and I feel is quite an accomplishment.

Although I didn't have to worry about the TWS in my second placement of student teaching, the placement itself has been quite a bit more trying. I love the students and the courses I am teaching but I don't fit in well with the grown-ups. We get along but we have very different teaching methods and ideas. I have learned a great deal, specifically that where you teach is very important because personality is a factor. It has been a good learning experience, just trying in a way that I did not expect. Thankfully, I have only have 9 more school days before I am done!!!! And only 28 days until graduation!

When I put up that countdown on my blog wall a year ago, it seemed like the number would never go down. And now, I can't believe I'm actually almost done! It is wonderful, exciting, and scary all at the same time. Being a December graduate is already a disadvantage to finding a teaching position but even more than that, the economy is definitely impacting the availability of jobs. As of last week, there were no positions available in the districts around where we live. But, if I have learned anything, it is to remember that God is in control and He will provide.

Another reason I have not posted in so long is that I was really sick for several weeks. I developed a bad kidney infection and had to go through 3 rounds of antibiotics before it healed. And as if that were not enough, immediately following, I got the flu. And I even had the flu shot this year! I ran fever for 6 solid days and was miserable. I feel for anyone who is suffering with the flu because there is nothing that seems to bring comfort. If you lay down, you cough. If the fan is on, you cough. If the fan is off, you sweat. But even worse than having the flu was having to miss visiting some family in the Dallas area. I was really looking forward to seeing them but could not because I felt so terribly, and would not because I didn't want to get them sick. Hopefully we will all be able to visit soon.

This has been a trying semester, but then again, I don't remember when I've had an easy semester. I don't think that it exists. Other than sickness and regular student teaching duties, I have also been dealing with personal, family issues. These issues continue to arise in my life and I used to long for days when I would no longer be plagued with such problems but I have come to accept that they are part of my life. They are part of who I am whether I like it or not. But even though I know I will always have to live with what has happened, I pray that eventually life will not come to a screeching halt whenever someone decides they need to react in one way or another. I also hope that some day I can serve a purpose in the lives of those who have been made to suffer in the same way as myself. In addition, perhaps someday I will be able to talk freely about myself without feeling judged or uncomfortable. I know there is no day but today, but sometimes there are things too painful to think on in the moment. No matter what the case, God will never leave us comfortless. In that promise I will build my foundation.

Less than one hundred....

...is how many days are left before I graduate! It is incredibly monumental. I have had that countdown up for quite some time and the days are slowly dwindling. Then again, I'm already halfway through my first student teaching placement so maybe time is not moving so slowly.

I have applied for graduation and entered my name exactly how I want it to appear on my diploma. That moment gave me a chill of excitement. I had already decided what I wanted on my diploma but I wanted to make completely sure of my choice before I entered and pushed the final submit button. After I did that, there would be no going back.

It may seem strange that I had problems deciding what I wanted on my diploma. I mean, your name is your name. It doesn't change on a whim. Well, maybe some people's do but mine doesn't. Anyway, my legal name is my first name, Amanda, followed by my middle name and my married last name of Deardorff. When I got married I completely dropped my maiden name legally. So logically, my legal name would appear on my diploma. It is my name after all. However, I completed over half of my college career with my maiden name. It was actually the most difficult half due to family problems and personal issues. In those years I feel I gained the most "life knowledge." I struggled with school, had to drop out a few times, and went back while overcoming major difficulties. When I got married, I took on new struggles but really, without having already overcome so much, I would have never been able to deal with the troubles during the second half of my college life. I also feel it is important to honor my parents, especially my mother, who has pushed so hard for me to complete my degree and helped me gain a foothold in the world of education. When I got married, while she was happy I found someone so wonderful who made me so happy, she commented that she was sorry that none of her children would graduate college with their maiden name, which of course is also her name.

So here is what I am getting at. I decided that my diploma should have both my maiden and married last names. I have omitted my middle name and replaced it with my maiden name. Just for my diploma, that is. And for when I become a famous writer. I think I'll use it as a pen name. :o)

This may not mean a whole lot to anyone but it is symbolic for me and hopefully for my mother as well. I want to honor what she has done for me. The fact that she has overcome a lifetime of troubles so that I might have a better life is not lost on me. And hopefully my children can say the same thing about me someday.

I cannot wait for graduation....have I said that yet? :o)

Well, I successfully completed 2 weeks of student teaching and I am still alive and well. I have really begun to feel comfortable at Brenham Junior High, which is something because there was a time in my life, and not too long ago mind you, that I didn't feel comfortable anywhere. I really like my students, my teacher has let me teach quite a bit so far, and the other teachers have welcomed me nicely. I've caught myself wishing that I didn't have to move up to the high school in October. I would have never expected to like junior high so much! That just goes to show that you never know until you try something whether you'll like it or not!

As much as I like going to school, I am so glad for this three day weekend. My house needs some serious attention. Yesterday I planned to get started but we all know about best laid plans. Pretty much all I got done was my classwork for my PE class. Oh boy, let me tell you about that.

Last weekend Steven and I went to Houston to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. Ok, we went to celebrate and so that I could go to the orientation of my online PE course (i know...PE online, I'm ashamed) which was at the Lone Star College campus in North Harris Co. I think the school used to be called North Harris Comm. College. Anyway, the last credit I need before I graduate excepting my student teaching is PE. Let me explain... I tried to take the class at SHSU some years ago but it was an 8:00 AM class, I had another class at 9:00 across campus and it was taught by a guy who had bricks for brains. All he could talk about the first day was how "ripped" his muscles were and his football stats. I already had an aversion to PE because of traumatic junior high days and this guy was dumb. So I dropped the course. And every semester following, classes that were way more important conflicted and honestly, I do not understand going to a class so worthless three times a week for one hour of credit. I have had to work my way through college and my time is valuable. Last Spring I tried to take PE online through Lone Star but we couldn't afford the class at the time. So here I am, at the end of my college career, needing a PE credit.

So I enrolled in this online class and found out you have to go three times in the semester, one orientation day, one pre-fitness test, and the real fitness test. Ok, I had heard about the fitness exams at SHSU. You walk or run a mile, just however long it takes you, as long as you do it, you are ok. WELL -- Lone Star takes the same class, for the same credit, MUCH more seriously. Boo.... By December I have to walk 3 miles in 36 MINUTES. Um...excuse me? Coach Bricks-for-Brains was looking pretty good when I heard about that. This is how I look at it:

1/3 of me wants to complain and moan about how unfair it is that this class which is supposed to be the same credit is so much harder. Lone Star and SHSU work together on this. They are partners. Why then are the classes so different! It isn't fair!

Another 1/3 says - this is what you get for waiting so long and now you have no other option so suck it up.

And the last 1/3 says, hey, this is a good opportunity to get yourself together and start a real exercise routine. I have been so busy and am so tired when I get home from school that I just crash. But my hours are never going to get any better. I am now working the hours I will work as a teacher. So being forced to work towards this crazy goal of 3 miles in 36 mins, can be a good thing. I had to do an initial health profile that included my weight (yuck) and I found out that I had lost 10 lbs in three weeks before even starting the exercise. So that was also an encouragement. I just really hate working out. I am not athletic, I am not coordinated, and I always feel out of place. But we have a nice walking trail around our apartment complex that I walked this week and it wasn't too bad. I turned on the Beatles on my MP3 and started walking. I'll try to update about how I'm doing. So far I am only walking 1/2 a mile in 20 mins. I have a long way to go.

So since I had to go to that awful class last weekend in Houston, Steven and I used the opportunity to celebrate our anniversary. Some of our family had suggested using Priceline - Name your own Price and I am so glad we did. We stayed at the Intercontinental Hotel for less than we would have paid to stay at a LaQuinta or another regular hotel. It was so nice!!! We went to the Downtown Aquarium on Saturday after my class and had a fancy dinner to celebrate and then went to the Houston Museum of Natural Science the next day. Since Steven had never been to the museum and I hadn't been since I was a kid, we skipped the special exhibits and just saw the main hall. I'm really glad we did that because the special exhibit was the Terracotta Warriors of China, which I am definitely interested in but it cost $30 a person to get in! Just to that one exhibit!!!! So we opted for the main hall, the planetarium, and the IMAX. I was looking forward to seeing the IMAX because we chose to see "Under the Sea." It was a really awesome film but I was a bit disappointed. I understand that we need to treat the earth with respect and not pollute the ocean. But I really just wanted to see some cool marine life. Instead the last half of the film we were preached to about how the evils of men have ruined the oceans. I get it, we ruin everything. I've switched from bottled water to a tap filter. I turn off my lights when I leave the room. Could I please just enjoy these beautiful ocean creatures?! Does HALF of the film need to be about pollution? The film was called "Under the Sea" not "The Sea which is Disappearing Because YOU are Polluting It." I find it very ironic that they would show that film and then you walk 20 feet to the oil and natural gas exhibit where they talk about how beneficial Houston's oil production is to the world. Ok...end of rant. You get the idea.

Overall we enjoyed our trip so much. We hadn't been away by ourselves since our honeymoon to Kemah three years ago! Every time we've been anywhere it was to visit family so this was really a great things for us. It was a good refresher and great to be away from the daily grind. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband. He has changed my life in so many ways.

In other news, (my, this post is long - I should probably post more frequently), Mema is not doing so well. She has been in and out of the hospital quite a bit and cannot walk without someone being there to help her - even with her walker. She is really weak. Her dementia is much worse and her eyesight and hearing are not great either. But she still remembers when it is time for medicine or coffee without fail!

Daddy had another MRI a few weeks ago because he has had some new pain in his neck and arms recently. He went to see the neurologist and unfortunately there is nothing that can be done. The damage to his spinal cord is too extensive. The new MRI shows that at one point in his neck, the cord is severed over halfway through from the front, back, and one side. The doctor has recommended a power chair for him because any more surgery they may do would not be helpful. When I talked to him this week he was in good spirits which is a blessing. He has come a long way in a short period of time.

I guess I'll end this incredibly long post. I love to blog and I probably should more often. A writer must write, or at least that's what I've been told. :o)

Everyone have a good Labor Day! I'll be cleaning because my mom always told us Labor Day was for laboring. Her dad always told her that so I guess I'll keep up the tradition despite its historical inaccuracies!

Reflections of Summer

Tomorrow is my first day of student teaching. My first placement is with an 8th grade US History class and my second placement is with a 9th grade Geography class. For the past week and a half I have been enduring hours of orientation, last minute reminders, meetings with supervisors and mentors and finally, a real life faculty meeting at the junior high. I am beyond excited! Not only does this mean I am at the beginning of the end of my college career, I am almost a real life teacher! I am ecstatic!

So far, my experience with the junior high has been wonderful! I really like my mentor and the other teachers in the department. They were all very encouraging and nice. One of the greatest things that happened with my mentor is that she asked what I wanted to do after graduating. I told her honestly - "FIND A JOB!" I explained to her that Steven has so patiently waited for me to graduate and has supported me through these last few years of school and now it is my turn to do the same for him. Since he wants to go to A&M, we would like to stay around here of course. Well, it turns out that one of the teachers will be having a baby over Christmas and they will need a long term substitute in the spring! When she asked if I was interested I did not hesitate to say absolutely! I have heard that long term subbing is a good way to get a job in a district. Also, it will ensure that I will be earning at least some money in case I can't find a job right away. I was so pleased! My constant prayer is that I will be successful this semester and get a job! So I will leave it in the Lord's hands and as always, He knows what I stand in need of. Obviously!!!

This summer has been a pretty good summer, all in all. I finished up at the daycare a week and a half ago - (not even one day off between work and school, thus is life!) - and I cried like a little baby. It was not so much that I was leaving the kids, although I did really like them. I only had them for the summer and we just seemed to go, go, go all summer so I didn't grow extremely attached to all of them but I did to some. I was more emotional about leaving the daycare itself. I started working at that daycare in August of 2002 when I first started college at A&M. Leaving there feels like a chapter of my life is closing, which it is. I just didn't feel the full affects of it until the day I quit. The staff gave me a really sweet card and a poem about my service to the daycare which also made me cry like a baby. That place has served a major purpose in my life. It has driven me to become a teacher, it has been a place of comfort when I felt lost, and I have made many friends there. While not all of my memories are fond (ie - unreasonable parents, explosive diarrhea, head lice, being sick every two weeks) I will recall these years at the daycare with great affection. I am very glad to have had the experience of working there, both the happy and poopy experiences!

This summer has also given me the opportunity to let go of several problems in my life. Some day I may blog about these problems in greater detail but for now, I really can't. What I can say is that I have been able to see situations and people through eyes of wisdom and experience. And I say that not to build myself up but to show how God has given me the wisdom to see things as they are and be at peace. I have changed how I place value on relationships and I have let go of things which I have no control over. I know that there will be times that I will need to be reminded of these things but all in all, I feel I have made some positive changes. I know there is a right and a wrong and it is ok to pick a side. Having compassion for someone does not mean I must agree with them and being compassionate does not mean that I do agree. I will not agree to something that is wrong. And through this summer's events, I have found confidence in being able to say that. Several years ago I could not but by the grace of God, I can now.

Now the summer is ending and school begins tomorrow. I just cannot believe it! This semester I will be teaching, taking my certification exams, writing the dreaded Teacher Work Sample, and if God will see me too it, GRADUATION!!!! I am ready!

The Death of an Oldsmobile

We had a little car
it was painted apple red
It took us near and far
But now that car is dead

With a shake and a moan
it breathed its last breath
gave one final groan
and gave in to death

We turned in that Olds
although it went bust
in a move that was bold
got a car that we trust

Its shiny and black
has air that is cold
small and compact
Good-bye busted OLDS!!!!
-AAD-

This week we learned that our Oldsmobile Intrigue was going to need a new engine. It was not worth the cost of what we were going to have to pay to have it fixed. In addition to the engine, we have been driving it for almost 4 years without air conditioning. Does anyone know what the temperatures have been in College Station, TX this month? Record highs!!!! It also had only two working windows which occasionally didn't in fact work and some cosmetic damage where someone hit me on campus but didn't leave any info. We were fine with all of the interior malfunctions, (well, maybe not the broken air conditioner) , but we could not do without a working engine. After all, that is the central nervous system of a car.

It seems that this could not have happened at a worse time but I suppose that is how these things go. The Olds was our only mode of transportation and starting in August, I will be driving 40 miles one way to student teach every day. But with some help from my parents, we have obtained a beautiful new-to-us Chevrolet Cobalt. Really it's pretty new anyway being a 2008. It's a little car, 4 cyl - so it will be good on gas, it has AIR CONDITIONING - so now I can wear my hair down to church and work, and the payments will be low which is the most important thing. We are so thankful for the help we have gotten. When I found out Monday that the Olds needed a whole new engine, I felt like the floor fell out beneath me. But God provides. And now we won't melt into puddles of Deardorff-goo every time we have to drive more than 10 miles in the 9 month long Texas summer!!!

Other than car drama, everything here is steady moving forward. I take my practice competency exam on Tuesday July 7th and will hopefully be cleared for the real one. It is really scary!!! But I will do my best which is all I can do. And I'm going to try not to stress too much over it this weekend because I want to enjoy my days off from work for 4th of July!!!

And on that note, I believe I will go sit in my new car for a few minutes and enjoy NOT getting hot in the Texas sun!!!!

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!!!!!!

Last weekend was the first weekend in about six weeks that I actually enjoyed. The weeks have been busy, full of going and coming which has left me with little time to think. When the weekend has rolled around, I've had emotional overload because I finally had to stop and think. But this past weekend I actually felt happy, something I hadn't been able to feel in a while. And because the weekend didn't involve an emotional upheaval, I haven't had to start my week with an up-hill climb. I am so thankful for this past weekend. Perhaps many people wouldn't recognize the blessing of being happy, or even just not sad, but I do and for me, it is no small blessing. I am thankful that my family seems to be doing well, my granny is at peace, and I am at peace (for the most part).

In regards to keeping busy, I am surely busy. I am working back at the pre-school and am teaching the 5 year olds. Last week we went on 4 field trips - bowling, the movies, the Waco Zoo, and to a place called The Bounce where there are about 10 moon bounces set up for the kids to play. This week so far we have been to Gattitown and the movies, and will go to the library and the Oil Ranch in Hockley. These trips are really fun but really stressful because of the loading and unloading of the children and their seats. Getting 16 children buckled in is no easy task. Then at places like Gattitown, the zoo, and the Oil Ranch, keeping them together is a major elevation in stress levels. But it is really fun and I really like the kids. I had quite a few of them before when they were 3 years old so they knew me and I knew them, or at least the major difficulties I may face with some of them. One child in particular tends to grate on my nerves. It is not that I do not like this child but these kids are little people and adults sometimes annoy each other, as do children. Anyway, this child is constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY complaining about something. She will complain if her food touches, or there is a spot on her finger, or someone looks at her....no joke. If I had a dollar for every time she has already cried over someone looking at her, I could probably buy the laptop I want. And it's only the middle of JUNE! This child is very, very high maintenance. I pray for patience with that child every hour of every day it seems. Two more months to go!!!

Other than that, summer is going as well as can be expected at this point. It's hot but then again, I live in Texas!!! Hot is normal!!!

D-Day and inner thoughts

My blogging lately has been sporadic because there is a lot going on in my life right now and it has been difficult to find time to write. Actually, time has been limited because I have been working a lot but really things in my life have been difficult in general which have made me not want to do much of anything except come home and sleep after work. Writing is very emotional for me because it is something I love so dearly. When I write I feel I can be my true self. But in the recent weeks that has been difficult.

I learned several years ago that if one is not true to oneself, one cannot be true to anyone else. If I am not completely honest with me, then what I portray to others is a lie. The down side to that is that people may not always like who you really are. But in reality, if they don't like who you really are, are they really that important? They don't have to live with you and without them life can go on, but you always must live with yourself.

Today is the 66th anniversary of D-Day when the Allies stormed the beaches at Normandy. My grandfather, my mother's father, arrived at Normandy two days after and marched across France and into Germany. Along the way he was run over by a tank but was unharmed because he quickly flattened himself into a ditch as the tank rolled over him. Later, he and his unit were bombed in their shelter and he was sent home unconscious and awoke only after being back in the states for several weeks. I have only a few memories of my grandfather but I am so proud of the service he gave to our country. And I am thankful that God provided him a way back to health because 20 years later he adopted my mother and gave her stability and love that she may never have known.

Been a long time...

It has been a very long time since I posted last. So much has happened, I don't think I can put everything in here but I will try to give an overview of the past month or so since I posted.

First of all, SCHOOL IS OUT! I am so relieved! It was a very, very difficult semester and having it completed is so wonderful. I am not sure how my grades are but I don't think I've done too bad. I had some setbacks this semester because of my own illnesses but I got back on track and finished. To explain this illness issue, first of all, I had the foot surgery catastrophe in January that set me back slightly but then in April, something awful hit me. We still don't know what happened but the doctors think I probably had a gallbladder infection. I passed out twice and was really dizzy for a few days with pain in the right side of my chest. I'm still not convinced it was my gallbladder because they didn't find anything wrong with it. What I've noticed since getting better is that my shoulder blade will hurt when I am really tired or stressed (which has been frequent during the past 5 months) and the right side of my chest will hurt. But I haven't had anymore dizziness or fainting so I guess I'm ok for now. The doctor said to just keep an eye on it. In the past two weeks I have been feeling really good so maybe I'm all better. I hope so!!! That was really scary and set me back in my semester. Thankfully I had really great Methods teachers who were very understanding and made me feel better about everything! They were so helpful. I couldn't have asked for more understanding teachers.

Unfortunately, I did have to drop my two English classes but that turned out to be ok too. As it turned out, I wasn't going to be able to student teach in both English and History and in order to teach a subject in Texas, all you have to do is be certified in one area, and take the competency exam in whatever you wish. In other words, once I pass my PPR and competency exam for History, I can take the English certification test and be certified that way. So my English work was really just extra work that I didn't need and once my semester got so hectic and crazy, they were the obvious classes to get rid of since they were essentially just electives at this point. I've been told that it will be a good thing to have so many hours of English to support my certification anyway so, there ya go.

In other news, my dad is doing amazingly well. I haven't seen him this well in several years! He is walking around without his walker at times, although he keeps it close by just in case, and he even went down about 12 steps at a restaurant we went to last week! It brought tears to my eyes. He's lost so much weight that he could not only fit into his suits for church again, he had to get new ones because the old ones were too big!!! I cannot express how proud I am of him. He was depressed for a very long time. It's amazing to see how well he can do when he is thinking positively. Also, the new neurologist he is seeing has taken him off of a lot of medications that he didn't need anymore which helps him stay awake and keeps his mind more focused. We all went last weekend to Austin for Littlevine's annual meeting and having my dad there was so uplifting. God has blessed us so much, my heart is overflowing with gratitude! My father and I have had some really hard times together and now I feel as if God has given us a new beginning, a rebirth really. We have so much to be thankful for. I know to some walking down a few steps is absolutely nothing and having your father go to a church meeting with you is usual, but for us, it is a miracle! Praise God!

In regards to my Mema, she is really about the same. She was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, which, ok, means she isn't the same but really she's is as good as can be expected at this point. My mom continuously has to remind her to wear her oxygen and has to keep her from eating too many bananas in one day but all of that is usual. She isn't in the hospital so she's doing ok. :o)

So now I am on summer break and am so glad! No school this summer except an online class and I'll just basically be working back at the pre-school. I started back yesterday as a sub until June 1st and then I'll be a full-time teacher for Friendship Club/Camp Sonlight- our summer day camp. That means I'll get to go on field trips to the movies and the splash pad, the Oil Ranch in Hockley, and the Waco Zoo!!! It's going to be a busy but fun summer! And one of the best parts is that I will be co-teaching with my friend Anesha who was my first friend at the pre-school when I started in 2002. We go way back!

In summation, family is good, methods is over, job in place which means money and fun, and student teaching at Brenham will begin in August, and finally in December -- GRADUATION!!!! Woohoo!!!!!

Quick note before church...

I told someone recently that it feels like my blog has become hospital and school updates lately. I guess that just happens sometimes. Anyway, I'm making a hospital update this morning.

My dad has been acting really strange lately and wanting to sleep non-stop. He usually sleeps a lot but lately he can't keep his eyes open for any length of time. He's even stopped eating because he's too tired. So my mom took him to the emergency room (I told her they should just give her an express lane) and he is back in the hospital. He has another (I think the same) UTI and they are going to re-evaluate his medication. I have voiced my opinion in the past about Huntsville Memorial Hospital and I continue to be reaffirmed in my dislike of their practices. I said all along they let him out too early last time and that I felt they hadn't really found the problem. After moving away from Huntsville, I increasingly feel that the quality of service in the town in general is sub-standard. I never realized it while I lived there but now I see it in the school system, the restaurant and retail industries, and the hospital. I wish my parents would consider moving away because I think their quality of life could be so much better. But they just bought a new house in Huntsville that my mother insists is just what she needs. blah...

I'll jump off of my soap box because I have to get ready for church. I wouldn't normally ever post before church but today, I don't have to make dinner because I did it yesterday. woohoo! I just have to pack it in my dinner box and I'm done!

Spring Break

Spring Break has been a bit of a bummer. Although I am thankful for the rest and the time at home, I would have loved to go on a vacation like Steven and I did last year when we went to Colorado. I just love Colorado. I bet I think of it on a daily basis. Sigh....

As it turns out, Steven and I don't have the same spring break this year. His is next week. Even crummier, this year he only has 2 days off instead of 3. So he has had to work all week and I have had to get up around the same time I usually do to take him to work since we only have one car and in order for him to park at his job, he must pay $600 a year. And he works in transportation and parking!!!! Texas A&M wouldn't want the transportation department to think they were getting any special privileges even though they maintain the garages, the gates, the ticket booths, cameras, etc. It has been a bummer week because it went way too fast and I was alone all week. But there is always a silver lining and mine is that at this time next year I will be graduated and hopefully have a job, taking spring break with the school district I work for. And that means more moolah which also means a greater chance of taking a vacation!!! Like to Colorado..... or wherever. :o)

Ok, so I really shouldn't be complaining so much, I know. At least I got a break from school and driving to Huntsville every day. But unfortunately I am writing this entry on the down slope of the break so all I am thinking about is having to go back the day after tomorrow. Impending doom..... cue scary organ/string music Alfred Hitchcock style. Ok, another silver lining - 8 more weeks of school! See, I really am optimistic. haha. And I really wasn't alone all week. Steven took Friday off of work and we went to the movies. However, winter decided to pull an encore and the high yesterday was 43 degrees with rain, rain, and more rain. The lawn area outside of our patio looks like a mini-lake. I guess that would be a pond, duh. Or would it be a tank because we live in Texas? Does anyone else know about tanks?

Wow, I'm all over the place today. Anyway, we went to see the "Watchmen." I highly DO NOT recommend this movie. It was unbearably long, did not have a developed plot or characters, and was extremely, EXTREMELY violent and had a great deal of nudity/adult "situations." Now, I can handle violence and nudity and am not usually offended by it but this was excessive. One character was unclothed almost the whole time and they did not even attempt to hide anything - at all. I guess they thought it was ok because he was radio-active and bright blue (and computer animated) but it really only made it worse. Halfway through the film I had to ask Steven if this film was rated R or if it didn't have X's in it's rating. And what was worse is that there was no development of characters or a story. Steven and I were both thinking separately about leaving the theater and had we communicated, that is exactly what we would have done. Usually we research movies before we see them but this was a spontaneous venture. Now we know and so do you....we give it four thumbs WAY down.

A highlight of the day was having lunch at Jason's Deli. For a few weeks we have been getting Jason's to go on Saturdays and going to the park to feed the ducks. We are not feeding them Jason's Deli but bread we bring. We love the ducks but not that much! Yesterday, since it was raining, we ate in the restaurant and it was nice. I love their California club with avocado and sprouts. I really enjoy our time on the weekends when we don't have anywhere to go or much to do and we can decide to just go for lunch or stay in, or whatever. Steven is my light in the darkness, my sun through the rain. I had many rough years before I met Steven and I think I will always define them as being pre-Steven years. My life has been divided as the time before I was married and the time after I got married. I am a better person having married him because he has showed me how good I am and how great I can be. I also feel as if daily life isn't so urgent and that it is important to enjoy it. He has taught me what living really means. There is no doubt that he is a blessing from God.

See, I made my way to something happy! I knew I would. :o)

Square peg in a round hole

This is how I feel most of the time. But I yam what I yam and I can't be nuthin else.

"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man." -- Shakespeare

The Sick Folks and Such

Daddy came home from the hospital on Wednesday evening. He's still really weak as he always is after a stay in the hospital. For a place that is supposed to make you better, it sure wears a body out! He seems to be doing ok though.

Since I'm updating on the sick people, Mema has a large lump on her leg and now her leg is swollen. The doctor wrapped it in an ACE bandage and has drawn fluid from the leg for testing. We should know what it is by next week.

On a sad note -not that what I've been talking about is particularly joyful- my brother-in-law's childhood home that he and my sister owned and were renting out burned down this week. I haven't gotten to talk to them but I know this has to be devastating. They were renting it to make the mortgage payments on the home so more than just an emotional blow, this has also probably taken a financial toll on them as well. Please pray for them during this time of uncertainty.

Speaking of uncertainty, how in the world does spending equal saving? Grief! I heard yesterday on the radio that there was "scientific proof" that the worst of the financial crisis was over. It turns out, things are still getting bad but at a slower rate. Does that even make sense? How does that add up to the worst being over? So far, Steven and I are ok. We don't own anything so there really isn't anything to lose. It reminds me of how my Mema said they didn't know when the Great Depression hit because they were so poor already. I'm just thankful that Steven's job is secure for now and that we can still make our rent. What does worry me is that I heard there will be 600,000 fewer teaching jobs in 2010 nationally. That isn't really encouraging considering how hard I'm working right now. But, as always, the Lord will provide.

I notice by my countdown clock on the wall, I have less than 300 days until graduation. We're in the 200's! Also, in one month and two days I'll get my class ring at the ring ceremony. Woohoo!

Hospital again.

Daddy is in the hospital again. Saturday he fell pretty hard but seemed to be ok. Then on Monday he was acting really confused and couldn't hardly stay awake and was very weak. Mama decided to take him to the hospital and he has a very bad UTI. Hopefully that is all that is wrong. They are keeping him at least through tomorrow but we'll see. He is having spasms and is still not able to stay awake much. Also he has really bad congestion and they have him on oxygen right now. Since today my classes ended at 1:00, I was able to be with him all afternoon and into the evening. When I got there, he didn't even know the nurses had brought him his lunch, he was so tired!

The good news is, there doesn't seem to be anything "major" wrong. But a hospital stay not fun. Hopefully he'll be home within the next few days.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope everyone has a good one! I was going to be making Steven a romantic dinner tonight but after the week I've had, he said I shouldn't have to work so hard on Valentine's Day. So we are going out to eat! We don't do that very often anymore so I'm excited. I haven't bought Steven's gift yet but it's all good because I know he hasn't bought me anything either. We are low-keying it this year. Just mainly going to enjoy being together.

Have a great day and remember to share the love! That's all we need after all. More love. :o)

<3

Worse for the wear...

The title for this entry is exactly how I feel today. Correction - this month. I haven't blogged in a while because I just haven't had the time or the energy. I'm feeling a bit Eeyore-ish today so if you want something up lifting, you might want to think twice about reading.

Where do I begin? Two weeks ago today I had a minor foot procedure to remove three toenails. Ew... I suppose I should have also given a gross-factor warning in addition to my self pity alert. Anyway, I had them removed, which is something I've done before. I have always had terrible toenails, something I get from my Dad. I couldn't have gotten my mom's pretty arched, curvy feet, I had to be blessed with Fred Flinstone feet. boo.

Well, the removal went ok and Steven took me home, I propped up on the couch and was doing fine until the numbness wore off and then I was in terrible, almost unbearable pain. It had never hurt like that before. I even took extra pain medicine which I know is a no-no but it turns out it wasn't strong enough anyway. The next day when Steven removed the bandages to change them, one of my toes was really swollen and bright red. Later that night I began running fever and by the next morning, the redness had spread. After quick calls to my nurse sister and my former podiatry assistant mother, I called the nurse hotline and they said I needed to go to Urgent Care. So off we went, me hobbling along and Steven trying to help me keep my balance. When we got to Urgent Care, the line was out the door!

Just for clarity, Urgent Care is the walk-in clinic at our doctor's office that is thankfully open on weekends. We ended up being at the clinic from 11 AM to 5 PM. We felt like we were waiting in the ER. It was so crazy. And because it isn't usually so crowded, I thought we would be home within 1-2 hours so I didn't bring any pain medicine. Needless to say I was very uncomfortable. The most frustrating part is that a large portion of those people didn't need urgent care. But whatever. We got through it.

The doctor said I did have an infection and prescribed an antibiotic with instructions to see my regular doctor on Monday. Unfortunately, nothing was better by Monday and another toe was infected. My regular doctor then prescribed a second antibiotic and said return on Thursday. By Thursday my toes were turning a scary shade of purple-ish/black, (sorry, gross factor alert), so the doctor sent me upstairs to the podiatrist who put them to sleep and did a second procedure to clean them out and remove roots that were missed. A week later I am finally doing better. Through all of this I missed 3 class days but only one methods day so that was good. Unfortunately this week has been a major catch up and I am close to a breakdown.

Which leads me to my second part of this self pity blog. I am tired of Methods. It's exciting to be in the classroom with my mentor teacher but on the days when we are with our college professors, it is barely bearable. I feel like we don't do anything and I swear that time goes slower on those days. The whole Earth slows down and I am stuck in a time warp. The good news is that misery loves company and I have a lot of company. All of the new friends I've made feel the same way. And even though we spend so much time in that class not really doing anything, we have a lot of work to do outside of class. On top of that, this week my two non-methods classes decided it was time to pour on the homework, I had two essays due today, 80 pages to have read, and a separate time consuming assignment to turn in. Tomorrow I have another two projects due. It's insanity.

Today I really almost broke apart. It all started with parking. Actually, it all started with not having slept but for four hours last night. My first class on TuTh is at 9:30. That's not bad, right? WRONG. There is NO parking at 9:30. Steven and I get up and I drop him off at 7:30, I drive the hour to school, and begin my search for a space. The parking lots are swarming with cars doing exactly what I am doing. Sam Houston currently has a "little" problem with parking. Over the years I've been in college,(it isn't necessary to know how many), I have watched them block off parking lots and build buildings over them and not replace the parking. And then, as if to add insult to injury, they have taken student parking and allotted it for staff. Do you know how angry I get when I've been searching for a spot for literally an hour or more and see rows of empty staff parking spaces? It's ridiculous. I hate being late for class, and have been late twice since school began and on the other days I've barely made it in time. Because I was one of several who were late today, the professor decided it was time to get stern. It took every part of my consciousness to keep from crying. It has been a rough few weeks.

I know I've just been complaining and this entry is l-o-n-g, but I will end on a happy note. The one thing that has kept me within the realm of sanity is that I ordered my class ring today and will get it in April at the ring ceremony. It is a good feeling. It will all come to an end and I will be a graduate. I just have to get through these thorny days.

Prayers

A few weeks ago I made an entry about one of my best friends, Georgia, on her birthday. Well, she needs some prayers. I know it is hard to pray for someone without know what is wrong but just know she is in real need of prayers for strength and comfort right now.

Thank you.

Happy New President Day!!!

I think today is a wonderful day. I am so glad to see Americans coming together and taking notice of this historic event. All inaugurations are historic and I wish that all of them have this much attention in the future. It seems to me that Americans have become more involved in the voting process through this election which is a long time in coming. Growing up I was taught that politics is dirty business and as a church member, the church is first and most important. I believe that with my whole heart. However, while we are not of the world, we must live in it. I know that I will never agree with any president 100%. Even amongst our fellow brethren of the church we do not agree 100%. Yet we still support one another. My prayer for our new president is that he will lead with an humble heart and with America's best interest in mind.

What an amazing day for us as Americans! No matter how a person feels about Obama on a personal level, I don't see how anyone can deny today's significance in the journey for Civil Rights. Ok, ok...I know I'm white and didn't live through the 1960's but it seems to me that the Civil Rights Movement was not beneficial just for racial minorities. I suppose I look at it this way: If a black man had the right to vote but was kept from voting through tests and poll taxes, what would keep the government from imposing something similar upon me at any given time in the future? Are any of us truly free if every one's rights aren't protected under the Constitution? I say no, but that's just my opinion. I can understand how the people who did fight for Civil Rights in the 1960's see today as a major breakthrough and I feel today is historically significant. Good grief, Kennedy caused a major stir just because he was the first Catholic president. And in my opinion, race has played a greater role in our history than religion anyway. So I feel today is significant based on that premise. Of course, to be devil's advocate one could say that Obama is just as much white as he is black. But as we discussed today in one of my classes, even into the 1980's a person who was 1/32nd black was labeled black on their birth certificate. I say that's just crazy.

So I am glad for our new president and happy to see such a wonderful event in my lifetime. I pray for Mr. Obama's safety and above all, that God watch over us all in this experiment of democracy we call America.

Today, or rather yesterday since it's almost 2 AM, we had a really good day at church. We had a special treat because my oldest sister was there. She went to Huntsville for the weekend to visit our mom and dad for her birthday. Oh! Which is now today since it's 2 AM! Happy Birthday Paula!!! I missed her boys who she is usually never without but it was really great to see her by herself. I don't think she has visited alone in a very long time, if ever. It was a different dynamic and a great blessing. I really appreciate getting to relate to my sisters in adulthood, rather than through childhood angst. People change as they get older and experience life. It's hard when you know you've changed but someone sees you as you were. I suppose that's just one of the conflicts with an age gap. The good thing about aging is that with time the gap feels smaller. When I'm 80 and my oldest sister is 89, who will know the difference? And for that matter, who will care? Other old ladies? But thankfully, for now, she's the only old lady between the two of us. haha! I'm completely kidding, just in case she reads this! :o)

Methods started this week and with it came a thunderous wave of stress. I said all last semester that it was my hardest and most stressful of my college career. I am thinking now I was probably wrong. My schedule is very full and I have to commute 4 days a week instead of just 2 which not only doubles my time in a car but also doubles our gasoline bill. And I found out I have to take the certification exams for History and English this semester instead of next semester like I originally thought. These exams cost $120 apiece so I really, really have to pass them the first time because I literally cannot afford to fail. In addition to all of this extra expense, I really do not have time to work. However, my sister Olivia suggested today that I may can tutor some students and that could really help us out. I will definitely be looking into that. Steven has been really adamant about me not working right now and continuously reminds me that making good grades is really important right now, but that's really hard for me. I have been working since I was 16 years old. Even though I made peanuts at the daycare, I was at least contributing something. But I know that God will see us through. We've been through really tough times - tougher times than these. And I still have a job at the daycare for the summer at least. Another really good thing is that since I'll be graduating in December, I should get more financial aid for the Fall because I'll only be going one semester of the academic year. And, being married and being poor has resulted in qualifying for grants instead of loans that I'll be paying back until my own unborn, non-conceived children start to college. Silver lining!

I suppose I should update about my Mema and Daddy. Mema was released from the hospital this week. She is really weak though. Every time she has to go into the hospital, she gets a little more feeble. She's tough but still 88 years old. But she is in good spirits. My dad is doing well but is also pretty weak. He was able to come to church today and preached for us. He's still on the drain which is really uncomfortable for him but mentally and spiritually, he seems better than he's been in years. I'm really, really proud of him for all of the hard work he's been doing. Old dogs can learn new tricks no matter how stubborn they may seem. It is never, ever too late for improvement of one's self.

All that being said for Mema and Daddy, I must ask for prayers and thoughts for my mom. If I had to describe my mom in three words (or phrases) I would have to say she is extremely hard working, dedicated, and very sensitive. That is to say, she feels things very deeply on a personal level. She has spent her whole life taking care of other people. I fear this has taken an irreversible toll on her physical, mental, and emotional state. Caring for people in general is difficult, but caring for a sick or disabled person is above and beyond trying. And for the past two years she has had double the trouble since my grandma had a stroke in 2007. People may laugh at my mom, who is really funny at times even though she doesn't mean to be, and they may think she's even a little nutty, which I think myself sometimes. But who wouldn't be with what she has been through. I admire my mother's strength, despite not always liking what she does or says. My heart hurts for her when I see how tired she is. I don't always think her hopes are rational but the shame is on me because at least she has hope. I just worry about her that she may not be able to handle all that she thinks she can. However, she has made some concessions and has hired a part-time maid/helper for my dad and Mema. It is a step.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering why I'm up at 2 AM, it's because my sleep is all off now. On school days my alarm is set for 5:30 but because I've been scared of being late (and subsequently causing irrevocable harm to my chances for being a teacher - I always think the worst), I've been waking up at 4 AM without fail. It finally all caught up with me and Saturday I had a two hour nap and tonight went to sleep about 7:30 on the couch. Then I woke up at 11 PM and haven't been able to go back to sleep. I fear that Tuesday I am going to be very tired. Perhaps I should try to go to sleep now. :o)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEROGIA!

Today is one of my best and dearest-friend-of-all-time's birthday. She is 25 today!!!!! Her name is Georgia and I've known her about as long as I've known anyone. In high school and junior high, we were inseparable. We even went to college together for a little while. But, as we got older, we began to pursue different interests like most people do as they grow. Although I rarely see her, I do get to talk to her occasionally and lately we've been increasingly in contact which makes me feel so wonderful. I know that my life would be drastically altered had I never met my "mushroom head" She is a special woman full of goodness with sprinkles on top.

I love you GEROGIA!!!! Happy 25th Birthday!!!

(And no, I didn't spell Georgia wrong. It's a special nickname.) :o)

Mema

Steven and I just got home to a voice message from my mom that said that Mema is not doing well. There has been no progress with the bowel obstruction and now she is having trouble swallowing. They removed the drainage tube day before yesterday. Other than that, I have no news. Basically, nothing has changed and she is not well. Please keep her and my mom in your prayers.

Thank you.

Methods Update

After almost 3 hours of calling and discussing and registering and faxing, I am now officially in methods and will graduate in December!!!!!!!!!

Tentative graduation date: December 18, 2009 (or December 19, 2009 depending on when my college graduates)

I think a major woo-hoo is in order.

WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Out with the old....

Well, another year has passed. Usually I make a big deal about the new year and it feels like a definite closing of one thing and the opening of the other. But for some reason, January 1st seemed like any other day. It didn't really feel like a new beginning, just a continuation of something that already existed. I suppose it could be that I've already been mentally living in 2009 for months. By that I mean, everything I've worked for in 2008 was to prepare me for 2009 and graduation. All of my hard work at school has been to help me get into methods this spring which then allows me to student teach this fall and then graduate in December. I predict that the transition from 2009 to 2010 will be more solidly defined because it will not just be the end of a year, but also the end of a very long and hard journey in my life. And of course, the beginning of a new journey that will bring new and exciting experiences to my existence. Here's hoping and praying for a blessed year for our family, our friends, our church and our country.

We did really enjoy the new year holiday. We went to Austin to visit my sister and her family. We sang in the new year at their church which my brother-in-law pastors and coincidentally, where my other sister's in-laws are members. We got to spend time with both sisters' families, and my mom who also came up. My dad is still too weak to travel from the staph infection, so unfortunately, we weren't all there. Otherwise, it was a really good visit. I love seeing my oldest nephews. They are growing up and are practically teenagers. In fact, Zachary who is the oldest, is almost the same age I was when his mom told us she was expecting him. That just seems impossible! On New Year's Day, we only got to see them for a little bit because they were leaving to go to the Cotton Bowl with their dad and grandfather. Needless to say, they were pretty darn excited! So with them gone, Mama decided to take Paula, Steven, and me to lunch which was a great treat! All in all, it was a really good holiday.

Christmas was also really great. It was the first time in my life I was home without company on Christmas day. I never thought I would like it, but I did! Growing up we always had my dad's family over for Christmas and as an adult, I've either gone to my mom and dad's or to Steven's parent's homes. This year, we really enjoyed being at our home and sharing the day together. I am not ashamed to say, we stayed in our PJ's ALL day. It was so, so nice. I made a full turkey dinner with mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and gravy and yes, we enjoyed it in our pajamas! Steven's big surprise present from me was an XBox 360 that he's wanted since we got married. Every Christmas we haven't had the money and he didn't think he was going to get it this year for the same reason. And also because I told him specifically he wasn't getting it. I'm so mean! Actually, at the time I told him that, I didn't think he would get it but then after Thanksgiving, my mom helped me buy it. The look on his face when he opened it was PRICELESS! I actually started crying when he opened it because he was so happy. So for most of Christmas day he played and I crocheted, and then we played together for a while. I think he was really glad we didn't have to travel this Christmas much which gave him extra play time over the break. He's such a good husband and I'm so thankful I could give him something he really, really wanted.

He's not the only one who got a great gift for Christmas. I have been wanting an MP3 player for awhile and I got one! It is pretty fancy - it can play videos, music, it has radio, picture storage and has a really neat LCD screen. It was way fancier than I had asked for. I'm glad I have a technological genius husband because I don't think I would have known how to use it if he didn't show me! I also got some bath stuff, a foot massager, and a neck pillow massager. I think my husband was trying to tell me I need to relax. It wouldn't surprise me because over the past year, my stress levels have been really high because of school. I didn't fully appreciate how hard I had been working until the break. Every time I'd be relaxing on the couch crocheting, I'd think, "I really shouldn't be doing this. I've got too much work to do." It's just become habit to think I've got too much to do to enjoy anything. That's another reason we didn't really plan anything for the break.

We did get to see my family the Saturday after Christmas. We all got together at my sister Olivia's house and had dinner and exchanged gifts. My Mema and Daddy did get to come to that so we were all there. It was probably one of the best Christmases we've had in a very long time. We were truly blessed.

Speaking of Mema and Daddy, they are still not doing very well. Mema is back in the hospital with another colon obstruction. They don't want to do surgery this time and are trying to dissolve it. However, they did have to put her under anesthesia to insert the tube down into her stomach to drain it. They don't like to do that but they were having a difficult time getting it in while she was awake. She really hates that tube. The last time she had to have it, she pulled it out and then like a little kid said it was an accident. She's too funny sometimes. There is no way she pulled that out by accident. It's about 2 feet long. The older she gets, the more child like she becomes. My mom reminded the hospital staff that she did that last time so they are being extra watchful. With her, we are just watching and waiting to see if the obstruction will dissolve without surgery.

As for my dad, he is really weak. He's been on a machine that drains his wound for about two weeks. He's been having allergic reactions to something though and the wound was really red yesterday when the home nurse visited, so they are taking him off of the machine for a few days. Between the wound and the allergic reactions, he's had almost no energy. He and Mema really need prayers. And of course, my mom who is the glue which holds everything together could use some extra prayers as well. Every time I talk to her she sounds exhausted. Besides taking care of my dad and Mema, she also works full time teaching in the prison system. Either of those elements alone would be too much but together, I cannot see how she does it. She's pretty special.

Lastly, I don't think I reported my grades for the fall semester. I ended up with all A's and one B. That's the best I've done in a very long time. On my Grammar final, I made a 105 and on my Religious History final, I made a 99. I now have a qualifying GPA for methods and I've done everything else they told me to do. Now I'm just waiting to hear back from the people in charge of methods. I sure hope they hurry because school starts next Monday!!! And here we go again....